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Food Thread: Hunk-O-Beef (At Least It Looks Like Beef!) Edition

Oh boy. The damned thing just jumped into my basket. I should probably complain to the manager. Three inches thick too, which makes cooking it a bit different than a thinner normal cut.

It's halfway between a steak and a roast, and if that isn't a First World Problem I don't know what is!

Seriously, it was on sale, it looked good, and it won't be raining tonight when I plan on grilling this thing. Yes, now that I am 29 I find the prospect of huddling under an umbrella in the pouring rain, trying to keep the rain off the food and my head is a bit...sub-optimal.

The question is what technique should I use? I can sear it, then roast at low temperature for a while (a long while!), or just the opposite...roast until the middle is about 10 degrees cooler than I want, and then sear the beast at surface-of-the-sun setting.

Oh, I salted it well in advance, because my exhaustive testing has revealed a definite difference between 24 hours before and one hour before. At least for my palate.

Roasted heirloom carrots and a salad, and I am in hog...err...steer heaven!

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Inflation is roaring, regardless of what the retard-in-chief says. Eggs have quadrupled in price in about 18 months. Pork seems up more than 30%, ice cream is up a lot, and I just noticed that plain old red wine vinegar is up about 50%. Vegetables are just nuts, with squash and zucchini up at least 50%. Milk (well...half & half for me) seems to have gone insane as well.

Yes, this sucks, and if last year you ate steak for Christmas but can't afford anything more than hamburger, it is still the thought of the meals, the people around you, the pleasure of their company and the joy of being with people you love that is far more important than the food.

So if Mac & Cheese out of a box is all you can manage on Christmas (or Hanukah), then enjoy it! The flavor comes more from the people around you and the festivities and the religiosity; the food itself is simply an afterthought when compared to those things.

Merry Christmas to all of you! Thank you for being such loyal and engaged readers, thank you for the many comments, and thank you for all of the wonderful notes you send...with the vast experience of The Horde contained in them. It has been a pleasure, and I look forward to a new year filled with your unique weirdness!

Cheers!

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Is this a joke? Of course it is. I think. I don't really know, because the current absolutely insane world we live in might actually go for this vileness.

Human Meat Project

Sadly, it is exactly what it sounds like, and if it is real (oh please...let it be a spoof!) then my low opinion of humanity may have dropped below a measurable value.

[Hat Tip: DJLadySmith]

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The Sazerac is one of my favorite cocktails, and I will pontificate about it at every opportunity. It was last mentioned on these august pages a few months ago, when commenter "Doof" sent along a couple of photos from the most famous Sazerac bar in the world, which of course is in New Orleans.

Maybe my (so far) unpaid work for the World Sazerac Society is paying off, because another reader contacted me about the delights of this seemingly simple cocktail. He sent a long a very sensible article and recipe, and hopefully you folks will give it a shot.The Classic Sazerac Cocktail is also a difficult drink to make, because the flavors are powerful, and small changes in amounts make big changes in result. So please, be a lunatic...measure carefully, in particular the Peychauds bitters. Or rather observe how the drops emerge from the bottle. The amount is dependent on the remaining volume in the bottle, so it is not a simple process.

One thing that pleased me about this article and recipe is that the author did not try to reinvent the wheel. She suggests a few nice-sounding variations, but when she strays far afield she points out that the resulting drink won't be a Sazerac! And good for her. There is too much mucking about with classic drinks and calling them "improved."

[Hat Tip: "someone who prefers not to be named"]

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Shishito peppers are delicious, ridiculously easy to make, and they sometimes vary quite a bit in heat, so one mild one can be followed by a fiery few bites. And that is always amusing!

They are also sort of expensive when they come prepackaged, so if you can find them loose...and cheap...go for it.

Sauté them in some olive oil, tossing frequently, until they are browned but not limp. Then toss them with a bit of Kosher salt and serve hot. They go wonderfully with booze...any booze.

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Ham and Cheese Roll-up

No...that's not what I mean! Way, way too fancy. Boiled ham from the deli. Sliced Swiss Cheese from the deli. Place one slice (or two) of cheese along the one short side of the ham (If it isn't a rectangle the communists have infiltrated your deli and you should walk out...immediately), roll up tight. Pierce with toothpick to hold together and place in microwave for 15 seconds.

The whole point is to be able to eat something tasty without going to any trouble. The idea of making this some sort of silly appetizer makes me sad.

Oh, I have not submitted this to the Weasel Test Kitchens, but I think they would approve.

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I have no idea why "Weasel" sent this video along. Admittedly it is an interesting video about harvesting tomatoes, but he has proudly announced his membership in the "Fast Is Better Than Good" food club.

Maybe something else caught his eye?

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Just send me oysters. Lots of oysters, and I will provide special dispensation for those without taste who insist upon maple syrup with their French Toast. And pork rib roasts from the front end of the pig where all the good and fatty meat lives, carrots that don't taste like stalky chalk, spare bottles of Van Winkle Special Reserve 12 Year Old Bourbon, an herb garden that actually produces herbs (but no basil!), well-marbled NY strip steaks and elk backstrap to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

And don't think that the rest of you are off the hook with maple syrup and French Toast: I'm still watching you! And I am watching you perverts who shake Manhattans and keeping a list for the Burning Times.