Saturday Overnight Open Thread (9/10/22)

Modern Woman Explains Why Smiling Is Offensive (H/T YankeeFifth)

Not the smartest decision a Florida boy could make. No shit Sherlock.

A man survived for three days while lost in the woods after an alligator attacked him and bit his arm off.

Eric Merda was attacked by the gator on July 20 in Myakka City, Florida.

Merda, 43, said he got lost at the Lake Manatee Fish Camp, and decided to swim across the lake rather than find his way back on foot.

I hate pumpkin spiced anything let alone coffee. And, I'm not a big fan of Martha Stewart.

Martha Stewart has been giving us some pretty spicy content these past few months, and people are loving it. This time, she decided to go nude…to match the temperature of coffee. The 81-year-old decided to wear only a white apron to promote Green Mountain Coffee. Sounds to me like their marketing team knows exactly what they are doing.

In the Instagram video, the former chef holds a cup of coffee while wearing nothing but the kitchen cover-up. “Oh hi there. I’m just enjoying the natural flavor of Pumpkin Spice,” she told her Instagram followers. “From Green Mountain coffee roasters and nothing else, literally. Just look at this, a thing of natural beauty— no, no, no not me.”

And this one was just right.

How's this for up close and personal?! While homeowners expect to see wildlife in the forest, they never plan on having a close encounter in their kitchen, especially on a Sunday morning. A Simi Valley, California family called 911 when they discovered a black bear had broken into their home. The woman and her son hid upstairs in a bedroom while they waited for the police to arrive. Simi Valley police officers came armed with non-lethal rubber bullets to use if the bear would not leave peacefully. The projectiles are meant to scare away the bear without causing him any longterm harm. According to NBC Los Angeles,their arrival and the bear were caught on one of the officer's body cameras.

I'm not sure what their demands are. Strippers seek "justice".

Belabored: Strippers Seek Justice at Work, with Velveeta
A group of strippers at the Star Garden Topless Dive Bar in North Hollywood hopes to break new ground in organizing their field nationwide as part of the Actors’ Equity Association.

Born on this day: 10 Sep 1942
Danny Hutton, singer with Three Dog Night, who had the 1970 UK No.3 & US No.1 single with a cover of the Randy Newman song 'Mama Told Me Not To Come'. The band scored 21 Billboard Top 40 hits (with three hitting No.1) between 1969 and 1975. via thisdayinmusic.com

Born on this day: 10 Sep 1950
Joe Perry, guitarist with Aerosmith who scored the 1989 UK No.13 single 'Love In An Elevator', and their 1989 album Pump spent 53 weeks on the US charts They had the 1993 US No.1 & UK No.2 album Get A Grip and the 1998 US No.1 & UK No.4 single 'I Don't Want To Miss A Thing'. Aerosmith is the best-selling American hard rock band of all time, having sold more than 150 million records worldwide. via thisdayinmusic.com

Celebrating Labor Day in her birthday suit. Genius Award Winner.

Naked woman in river arrested for intox

A bucket list wish fulfilled and she win's a Genius Award as well.

SEPTEMBER 7--The Florida Woman who told cops that her “bucket list” included getting arrested for “something simple” has received a slap on the wrist for leading officers on a five-mile car chase, court records show.

Janiya Shaimiracle Douglas, 19, was arrested in May on a felony charge for allegedly fleeing from cops while driving her Toyota on a roadway in Key Largo.

After a sheriff’s deputy spotted Douglas speeding “over 90 mph reckless” around 7:45 AM, she continued to drive without stopping as the patrol car--with its siren and emergency lights activated--pursued her vehicle, according to an arrest report.

Douglas, a cop alleged, was observed “looking at my patrol vehicle from behind as her window was cracked open.” After driving for about five miles, Douglas approached a three-way stop, where another deputy “deployed the spike system in front of the defendant’s vehicle.”

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Precautionary Measures.

Notice: Posted with permission and enthusiasm from the skeletal staff at the Ace Media Empire and AceCorp, LLC Headquarters.

posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:46 PM

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