Dee Snider Wants You To Know You Can't Sing His Horrible Song Any More!

And you are...?

Dee Snider @deesnider

ATTENTION QANON, MAGAT FASCISTS: Every time you sing "We're Not Gonna Take It" remember it was written by a cross-dressing, libtard, tree hugging half-Jew who HATES everything you stand for. It was you and people like you that inspired every angry word of that song! SO FUCK OFF!

Here Dee Snider is demonstrating the Streisand Effect, which is where a "man" looks like an older, haggier version of Barbra Streisand.

Garish Truckstop Transexual Clownhooker, nobody sings your gay songs anymore except you. You should probably stop downing your sad Boner Pills by the handful, they've got your blood pressure up in the 300 range.

Go fuck yourself in the heart with a knife, you sad never-was of a reject from a John Waters stress dream. Go do a couple knee push-ups, you sad spaghetti-armed dog of wallflower girl. You look like you're following an exercise plan called Body by Howard Stern.

Listen up, Yentl. You had a couple of novelty hits that charted primarily because your video director had a sense of humor. Your grade-school ditties are the Glam Metal Version of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer." Kip Winger laughs at you. Even this guy thinks you're mid. You're not man enough to do a sound check for Chip Znuff.

Sebastian Bach has chunks of guys like you in his stool. Probably literally, now that I think about it. You should probably both get tested because you both look medically suss. Eh, don't bother with the test, Babs, I already have the results: You have monkeypox, and that monkeypox has AIDS.

By the way, I was searching for the worst 80s metal bands because I was trying to find the name of that band that Beavis and Butthead made fun of. (I only found it by remembering the keyword "Wolverine" -- they make a joke about that in the video.)

In searching for the worst 80s metal bands, I came across this Village Voice list of the 10 Worst Metal Bands of the 80s.

Who's here?

8. Twisted Sister

Gimmicks like Dee Snider's can only hide how bad your music is for so long. At some point, people will notice, and your next stop is a fate worse than death: VH1.

You pathetic sell-out. You're like KISS but without the demand. Or the talent.

Now go back to comforting your dying friend in Beaches. What? You weren't in Beaches? I don't care, Prince of Tides, I don't follow your gay-ass career.

Now get your ass down to the Dorney Park Puppet Pavilion, and play with some *spirit* for a change. The Puppet Players are going on in forty minutes and they tell me they're tired of having to wake the crowd up after you put it to sleep.

posted by Ace at 03:11 PM

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