Ace of Spades HQ

« Saturday Evening Movie Thread - 5/21/2022 [TheJamesMadison] | Main | Daily Tech News 22 May 2022 »

May 21, 2022

Saturday Overnight Open Thread (5/21/22)

***

The Saturday Night Joke

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.

"I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!"

"Oh God no!" cries the man "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?"

"The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm and I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant."

"Go for it, doc," says the man, "as long as I can play golf again."

The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.

"Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon. "Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the best golf ever. My new arm has a much finer touch, and my putting has really improved."

"That's great," said the surgeon.

"Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors."

"That's unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?"

"Well, just two, said the golfer, "I have trouble parallel parking and every time I get an erection, I get a headache."

***

Hey, it's not poached............

***

Parenting shouldn't be this difficult.

***

Growing up is tough. Thanks school officials. This certainly doesn't help.

LOO ROW Parents outraged as high school REMOVES toilet doors to create ‘gender neutral bathrooms & ease anxiety’

PARENTS have been left outraged after a high school removed toilet doors to create "non gendered" bathrooms in a bid to "ease anxiety".

They were sent a letter by Golden Grove High School in Adelaide, Australia, informing them of the changes to the facilities.

Somethings should remain private.

***

The ONT Musical Interlude & Cordless Drill Emporium

&&&

On this day: May 21, 1980 - Joe Strummer
Joe Strummer of The Clash was arrested at a much-troubled gig in Hamburg, Germany, after smashing his guitar over the head of a member of the audience; he was released after an alcohol test proved negative. via thisdayinmusic.com

***

If I had this detail I might be indulging in too much alcohol as well. But......Genius Award Winner.

A Secret Service agent assigned to President Joe Biden’s Asia trip allegedly drunkenly assaulted a South Korean. The agent, along with a fellow colleague, are being sent back to the US.

One of the agents was arrested early Thursday after getting into an altercation over a taxi, according to a Yonghan district police official.

However, a US official said the agent was ‘investigated’ by South Korean authorities and would not confirm that the agent was arrested or detained. The other Secret Service agent was not investigated for wrongdoing, the official said.

***

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Weasel's Lawn Machine.

Notice: Posted with permission by the Floating Maintenance employee at the Ace Media Empire and AceCorp, LLC.

posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:53 PM

| Access Comments


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries Hobby Thread - May 24, 2025 [TRex] The Ace of Spades Pet Thread [scampydog] The Gardening & Puttering Thread [TRex] Penny For Your Thoughts? Not Anymore! [Doof] “Democracy” Means Regulations Written by Bureaucrats Cannot Be Overturned by Congress and the President The Classical Saturday Coffee Break & Prayer Revival Daily Tech News 24 May 2025 It Is A Far, Far Better ONT That I Go To, Than I Have Ever Known Holiday Weekend Cafe The Week In Woke Absent Friends Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups NoVaMoMe 2025: 06/21/2025 Arlington, VA Contact Weasel and Bluebell for info Texas MoMe 2025: 10/17/2025-10/18/2025 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« Saturday Evening Movie Thread - 5/21/2022 [TheJamesMadison] \| Main \| Daily Tech News 22 May 2022 » May 21, 2022 Saturday Overnight Open Thread (5/21/22) ***** The Saturday Night Joke** A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him. "I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!" "Oh God no!" cries the man "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?" "The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm and I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant." "Go for it, doc," says the man, "as long as I can play golf again." The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon. "Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon. "Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the best golf ever. My new arm has a much finer touch, and my putting has really improved." "That's great," said the surgeon. "Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors." "That's unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?" "Well, just two, said the golfer, "I have trouble parallel parking and every time I get an erection, I get a headache." ***** Hey, it's not poached............ *** Parenting shouldn't be this difficult. *** Growing up is tough. Thanks school officials. This certainly doesn't help. LOO ROW Parents outraged as high school REMOVES toilet doors to create ‘gender neutral bathrooms & ease anxiety’ PARENTS have been left outraged after a high school removed toilet doors to create "non gendered" bathrooms in a bid to "ease anxiety". They were sent a letter by Golden Grove High School in Adelaide, Australia, informing them of the changes to the facilities. Somethings should remain private. *** The ONT Musical Interlude & Cordless Drill Emporium &&& On this day: May 21, 1980 - Joe Strummer Joe Strummer of The Clash was arrested at a much-troubled gig in Hamburg, Germany, after smashing his guitar over the head of a member of the audience; he was released after an alcohol test proved negative. via thisdayinmusic.com *** If I had this detail I might be indulging in too much alcohol as well. But......Genius Award Winner. A Secret Service agent assigned to President Joe Biden’s Asia trip allegedly drunkenly assaulted a South Korean. The agent, along with a fellow colleague, are being sent back to the US. One of the agents was arrested early Thursday after getting into an altercation over a taxi, according to a Yonghan district police official. However, a US official said the agent was ‘investigated’ by South Korean authorities and would not confirm that the agent was arrested or detained. The other Secret Service agent was not investigated for wrongdoing, the official said. ***** Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Weasel's Lawn Machine. Notice: Posted with permission by the Floating Maintenance employee at the Ace Media Empire and AceCorp, LLC. posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:53 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments JackStraw: ">>My mini dachshund is named Toby A mini dachsh ..." Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere [/i] [/b]: "[i]Dinner here tonight, I think, plus a viewing of ..." Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere [/i] [/b]: "[i]Reminds me of our first cat. I slept with thick ..." NemoMeImpuneLacessit[/i][/b][/u][/s]: "Mittens is still recharging next to my (bad) leg. ..." Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea: "Dinner here tonight, I think, plus a viewing of Se ..." Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere [/i] [/b]: "[i]My mini dachshund is named Toby. The grandkids ..." olddog in mo: "[i]so now I’m trying to slip a tea towel bet ..." MkY: "Being able to burn is a pleasure not to be taken l ..." NemoMeImpuneLacessit[/i][/b][/u][/s]: "Aharen-san and Raido (Boyfriend-kun) make such a c ..." Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere [/i] [/b]: "Time for me to feed the furry thugs, and then shav ..." olddog in mo: "Just pulled tick out of puppy's ear. That's her s ..." Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere [/i] [/b]: "[i]Mike Myers commented that handling the bald ver ..." Recent Entries Hobby Thread - May 24, 2025 [TRex] The Ace of Spades Pet Thread [scampydog] The Gardening & Puttering Thread [TRex] Penny For Your Thoughts? Not Anymore! [Doof] “Democracy” Means Regulations Written by Bureaucrats Cannot Be Overturned by Congress and the President The Classical Saturday Coffee Break & Prayer Revival Daily Tech News 24 May 2025 It Is A Far, Far Better ONT That I Go To, Than I Have Ever Known Holiday Weekend Cafe The Week In Woke Search Search this site: Polls! Polls! Polls! Frequently Asked Questions What is the Deal with the Cowbell? Why is the Ace of Spades called "the Death Card"? The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick Primary Document: The Audio Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an Fckin' Hammer Top Top Tens Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really* Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Syndicate this site (XML) Powered by Movable Type 2.64