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April 28, 2022

Las Vegas Raiders Owner Innovates World's First Live-Performance Twitter Virtue Signal

Mark Davis says he would "welcome" the chance to sign professional wash-out Colin Kapernick, who has not played a football game since the Obama presidency.

No, seriously -- January 1, 2017, before Trump was sworn in.

Also note that he was riding the bench before that game, too. And even when he was playing, he was playing poorly.

But sure, the Raiders really want to sign an older, fatter version of this dirty heartless scrub.

Seemingly under the assumption that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, the Las Vegas Raiders may be willing to gamble on signing Colin Kaepernick.

On Wednesday, team owner Mark Davis offered support to the quarterback who hasn't taken an NFL snap since 2016. "I believe in Colin Kaepernick," Davis said via NBC Sports Bay Area.

Virtue signaling is cheap. That is one thing Twitter has taught us. (Though Ron DeSantis is trying to make it more expensive.)

We'll see if Davis wants to do more than signal. My guess: No, he just wants to show he's down with BLM.

Update! TheJamesMadison suggests an alternative headline:

Raiders Owner Mark Davis Announces Intent to Make Colin Kapernick His Slave

I mean, that is what being an NFL player is, right? Kaepernick said so in a Showtime "documentary."

Despite recently signing starting QB Derek Carr to a three-year contract extension worth more than $120 million dollars, Davis insisted Wednesday that he wouldn't stand in the way if his front office and coaching staff pushed to sign the quarterback. "He deserves every chance in the world to become a quarterback in the National Football League. I still stand by it," said Davis.


I'm scanning Google and I see no coaches at the Raiders saying they have any interest in Kaepernick at all -- so this is entirely just Mark Davis saying that he'd welcome Kaepernick if people who are not interested in Kaepernick were interested in him.

Which they're not.

Davis continued, telling NBC Sports Bay Area: "If our coaches and general manager want to bring him in or want him to be the quarterback on this team, I would welcome him with open arms."

There's that if again.

FoxNews notes:

He has a career completion percentage of just under 60% and a 3-16 record in his last 19 NFL starts.

Hey Mark Davis -- how do you feel about giving me a chance to play QB for the Raiders? I mean, if the coaches want me and all.

I think if I keep up on this GAINZZZ regime I could be ready for summer camp!

I have exactly the same odds of playing QB in the NFL as Colin Kaepernick. Everyone reading this blog does, except high school, college, and NFL football players, who have infinitely higher odds.

The Raiders have long been known as a team that likes to gamble on problem players and basket-cases, but you would have think they'd have learned their lesson.

This is dumb and I feel dumb writing this post and I apologize for making you dumber for reading it but I'm lazy and it's easier to write dumb things than smart things.

Colin Kaepernick would have to earn an additional 1,501 experience points to even reach the level of "Jive Turkey." Right now he is zero level and merely an Apprentice Jive Turkey.

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posted by Ace at 04:31 PM

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