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March 10, 2022

It Was A Dark And Stormy ONT. Suddenly, A Shot Rang Out! The Maid Screamed! And Then The Murders Began

Good evening Horde! How's the day going? Apparently, the White House claims we're on a “war footing” now. I wonder how an invader would fare if we really were at war?


Invasion.jpg


Hard to tell anything in the deluge of propaganda coming out of Ukraine, from both sides, but the mighty Red Army doesn't look to be doing so well. Assuming reports of a stalled column 35 km long are true, don't they have a logistics department? And how the hell can they unwind that, it's blocking the road, how will fuel get to the front?


Public Service

From Washington to Biden, Here's the Net Worth of Every US President

Biden comes in at $9 million. If you ever want proof that he's utterly incompetent, this is it. He's been in DC since Hector was a pup, and he's crookeder than a dog's back leg, yet he's only worth $9 million. He's not even good at being corrupt! What a chump.

Thursday Night Game

Murders began.jpg


I do believe that he may be right.

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the Earth. And then the murders began.

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. And then the murders began.

Squire Trelawney, Dr Livesey, and the rest of these gentlemen having asked me to write down the whole particulars about Treasure Island, from the beginning to the end, keeping nothing back but the bearings of the island, and that only because there is still treasure not yet lifted, I take up my pen in the year of grace 17-, and go back to the time when my father kept the Admiral Benbow inn, and the brown old seaman, with the sabre cut, first took up his lodging under our roof. And then the murders began.

(The Bible, 1984 and Treasure Island, respectively.)

Now you try. What would be your nomination for best first line, before the murders began?

Road Trip Idea


Remember These Chain Restaurants? They're Still Hanging On


How much fun would it be to mark all of these on a map and then plan a road trip down memory lane to visit them? You'd probably have to omit Chi-Chi's and Kenny Rogers Roasters from the itinerary, they only survive overseas. I know that the last remaining HoJo's is in New York, and I'd love to go there, sit down and order a clam boat. I'm less eager to go to New York, however. One childhood favorite that made the list is Gino's. Started by Baltimore Colts hall of famer Gino Marchetti, the restaurant was big in the Baltimore area. In the 70s it had the local KFC rights, so when you wanted the Colonel's chicken, you went to Gino's. By the 80s they all turned into Roy Rogers, another childhood favorite that has withered away to just a few locations (I ate at Roy's 2 weeks ago, the day after I had a wonderful visit with Doof. Man, either my taste buds grew up or their quality has gone wayyy down), but a few opened back up a decade or so ago. The last fast food burger I had before I moved to Texas was a Gino's Giant, at the store on Joppa Rd in Towson.

Real Work

Mental Health Tip: Don't Read The Replies To This Tweet


Neat

Ace did a thread on this yesterday, but it's pretty neat for those of you who missed it.

Lost in 1915, Ernest Shackleton’s ship Endurance found off coast of Antarctica

Endurance did not reach land and became trapped in dense pack ice, and after they were stuck in the ice for 10 months, the 28 men on board were forced to eventually abandon ship. They escaped in lifeboats and on foot.

Captain Frank Worsley marked down the coordinates where it sank and the Falklands Maritime Heritage Trust said that these played a key role in their discovery of the vessel.

The men of the expedition lived on the boat for over a year, trapped in pack ice, before taking to the lifeboats to travel over 800 miles to safety. Those were men! Shackleton returned to the Antarctic a few years later, but died of a heart attack at age 47. Years later, when talking about the great age of Antarctic exploration, a fellow Antarctic explorer, Sir Raymond Priestly, said "Scott for scientific method, Amundsen for speed and efficiency but when disaster strikes and all hope is gone, get down on your knees and pray for Shackleton"


Fly The Friendly Skies

Up in the Air: Flight Attendants Share Secrets Only They Know

I'm not sure “Don't let your baby crawl around on the floor of the plane, it's dirty” is a huge secret, but OK.


Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by wisdom:

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