Saturday Overnight Open Thread (1/1/22)

The Boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK?" The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing'" (H/T TNDeplorable)

Good old Wisconsin and parental love on full display.

WASHINGTON COUNTY, Wis. (CBS 58) -- A 20-year-old Milwaukee woman is accused of driving drunk twice on the same day.

According to the Washington County Sheriff's Office, around 3:13 a.m. on Friday, Dec. 31, a deputy observed two vehicles traveling "unusually close together" on I-41 southbound near State Highway 33. The deputy noticed the lead driver was continuously swerving, driving half on and off the shoulder, and not maintaining consistent speeds. The following driver was traveling close behind the lead driver.

Authorities say the deputy pulled alongside the pair of vehicles, activated his emergency lights and turn signal to get behind the lead vehicle. The following driver reportedly failed to yield to the deputy and pulled even closer to the lead vehicle; the following driver would not allow the deputy to pull into the lane of traffic to make the traffic stop.

As in 2021: The ONT Is Always Looking Out For You.^TM

How to Keep an Outdoor Faucet or Spigot From Freezing
Taking a few steps to winterize your outdoor plumbing can make a big difference.

America! (H/T slapweasel)

RIP NFL player and coach, Dan Reeves.

I guess everyone "needs" their 15 minutes of fame.

A woman who received a Secret Santa present with "really unpleasant sexual slurs" has been told to "get over herself" after her angry reaction to the gift.

The tradition sees each staff member given a colleague to secretly buy a present for – but one Mumsnet user was furious when she opened her gift.

She posted on the Am I Being Unreasonable forum: “I have been gifted a 'Go F**k Yourself I'm Colouring' 50 swear words to colour your anger away, adult colouring book…

“Which should be fine, (but) a lot of the words to colour are not swear words per se but really, really unpleasant misogynistic, sexual slurs and terms that I associate with pornography.”

If she was really offended. Keep it to yourself. Throw the damn present in the trash and move on with your life.

Yes little 'rons & 'ettes, I try my hardest to keep politics out of the Saturday ONT. But this was just too rich. Once again her tits and her mouth individually demonstrate bigger numbers than her IQ.

AOC replied:

If Republicans are mad they can’t date me they can just say that instead of projecting their sexual frustrations onto my boyfriend’s feet.

Ya creepy weirdos

From respair to cacklefart – the joy of reclaiming long-lost positive words
Susie Dent. Cacklefart?

“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them”: words of positivity from the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius. But how many of us really dwell on the upside of life, as opposed to its mad, bad, seamy side? It’s unsurprising that we have lost some of our joie de vivre in the past few years – finding sparkle amid the grey has become distinctly difficult. But a riffle through a historical dictionary suggests that it’s always been this way, and at heart we’ve long been a pessimistic lot. Linguistically, as in life, our glass is usually half-empty.

On this day: January 1, 1953 - Hank Williams
American singer-songwriter and musician singer Hank Williams died of a heart attack brought on by a lethal cocktail of pills and alcohol aged 29. Williams is regarded as one of the most important country music artists of all time. 35 of his singles (five released posthumously) were placed in the Top 10 of the Billboard Country & Western Best Sellers chart, 11 of which ranked at No.1, including 'Cold, Cold Heart,' 'Hey, Good Lookin', 'I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive,' and 'Your Cheatin' Heart.' During his last years Williams's consumption of alcohol, morphine and painkillers severely compromised his professional life. via thisdayinmusic.com

Born on this day: January 1, 1950 - Morgan Fisher
English musician Morgan Fisher, keyboards from Mott The Hoople, 1972 UK No.3 & US No.37 single 'All The Young Dudes', a song David Bowie offered the band on hearing they were about to split up. via thisdayinmusic.com

He wanted to be a hobo. Now he's a posthumous Genius Award Winner.

A man struck by a train in Goldsboro on Thursday night has died.

City officials confirmed the crash occurred around 9 p.m. at the railroad tracks in the 2700 block of Royall Avenue between Sunburst Road and Spence Avenue.

The Norfolk Southern Railroad freight train hit Michael Allen Wheaton, 28, who officials said was walking west on the tracks.

From our friend and fellow Cob, Weasel..........

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by The Joys of Winter.

Notice: Posted with permission by the Holiday Staff of the Ace Media Empire and AceCorp, LLC. Don't forget to wear your mittens and cap.

posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 10:01 PM

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