First World Problems: The Twist-Tie

Most thinking people correctly consider the twist-tie to be one of the greatest single inventions of the 20th century. While the integrated circuit, penicillin and heavier than air flight all have their places, frankly none of these have had the same impact as the twist-tie in terms of convenience and usefulness to all mankind. Invented by Charles E. Burford in 1961 , this miracle of versatility has countless uses, and as long as it is used properly, greatly enhances our daily lives. When used improperly, however, it becomes a vicious little bastard that is unusually difficult to operate and becomes the source of great frustration.

How does one use a twist-tie incorrectly, you ask? It should be obvious, but you use them incorrectly by twisting the damn things closed in a counter-clockwise direction, that's how. It is universally acknowledged the correct way to close a twist-tie is in a clockwise direction. They are opened, or "un-tied" in a counter-clockwise direction. Have you ever needed a slice of bread and found that some sadistic left-handed bakery worker has defied convention and closed the damn thing the wrong way? Are these people not supervised? C'mon, man! This is like Day 1 bakery training stuff. It's not who we are!

I again recently encountered this frustrating situation and was forced to waste precious time in making a sandwich while untangling the twist-tie. Such sloppy work is unprofessional, inconvenient to the user, and yet one more sign of the decline our once great American society. It is something you would expect from a company that simply does not care about quality or placing a premium on customer service, but rather celebrates mediocrity. Until we take attention to detail seriously, we will remain a fundamentally unserious people.

posted by Weasel at 02:00 PM

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