Pretend Tough-Guy John Cena Offered a Groveling, Sissy Apology to China.
China Rejects the Apology as Not Groveling Enough.

"Tough guy" John Cena's humiliating, pathetic, groveling, gutless, self-emasculating, tyrant-servicing apology to the murderous Chinese Communist regime was... rejected by the Chinese as insufficiently wormy!

In a subtitled, minute-long video message with awkward grammar but relatively good pronunciation, he said: "I must say now, for 'F9,' I have done many interviews -- many, many many. So in one interview, I had one mistake... The 'F9' people gave me a lot of information, so a lot of interviews, a lot of information I--made one mistake.

"What I must say now is very, very, very, very, very, very important: I love and respect China and Chinese people. For my mistake, I really, really apologize. Sorry, sorry, I really apologize. You must understand, I really love and really respect China and Chinese people. I'm sorry.

"I will suck your dicks. I'm not kidding here. I will suck all of your dicks. Just line up shoulder to shoulder and pop chubbers. I will suck one billion dicks in a row. Here is the John Cena Blowjob Coupon: Only good for one billion uses."

I added that last paragraph, but that accurately reflects the tenor of the apology.

And China rejected his offer to give one billion blowies:

...

Despite all of Cena's "very's" and "really's," his plea doesn’t appear to have cleared his name.

Note that this is Variety, an industry rag, essentially dunking on Cena.

[M]ost of the top responses to his message slammed his mea culpa as too vague to be worth anything.

"Please say 'Taiwan is a part of China' in Chinese, otherwise we will not accept," said the top response, which received some 7,500 likes.

Many called him "two-faced," accusing him of saying one thing in Taiwan to Taiwanese fans and another in China.

"Even if you don’t understand China, OK, then when you apologize, you should make clear what you got wrong. Was it just a grammatical error? He doesn't even dare recognize the 'One China' principle on Chinese Weibo -- so who knows what he actually thinks about it," read another post that had garnered nearly 2,000 likes.

By the way: People in the media keep asking, how China will react to this? Will they ban Fast and Furious 9 from theaters? Will they limit it or forbid Chinese media to mention the movie? Will people boycott?

Maybe someone should ask how Taiwan -- formerly a super-supportive country for this franchise -- will react to John Cena agreeing with Chinese propaganda that they're a "renegade province" which will be re-enslaved by the Communist Chinese Party shortly.

And of course, one should ask how the movie will play in the US.

Or how Cena's next movie-- a remake/reboot of the shitty Suicide Squad -- will play in the US.

posted by Ace at 01:12 PM

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