Quarantine Cafe: Double Entendre Jukebox Edition

Chuck Berry's "fourth grade ditty" and "song of togetherness."

Melanie gets around.

Led Zeppelin wants to cover you in citrus.

The Who sang about a woman who liked playing with her instrument.

The Starland Vocal Band has a double entendre song, but wait -- is it even double entendre? Is there any other entendre besides the one?

The Runaways sort of did one. Maybe? Or maybe it's just supposed to sound like it's a double entendre.

Aerosmith boasted of the size of their recording.

Van Halen wanted to service children.

April Wine really spelled it out for you.

I'll include the Vapors because people will call me a cyclone ranger if I don't, but honestly, this is not a double entendre song. That's just something ninth graders made up. The band's always denied it and they have no reason to lie. Plus, I don't even understand how the alleged double entendre is supposed to work.

Kirsten Dunst's version seems more suggestive than the actual song. Probably because of all the porny cartoons.

On the other hand, Cyndi Lauper was definitely on the other hand.

She's blind at the end of the video. I just got that, 40 years later.

The long, long baseball metaphor at the, um, climax of this Meatloaf song counts, even though the rest of the song is just straight-up surface-level about sex.

ZZ Top understood that the way to a woman's heart was through her neck, specifically, by giving her the most wonderful gift a man can give to a woman.

Billy Squier has an odd one -- I think it's a reverse double entendre. It sounds very dirty, but it's really about music industry people flattering him and bullshitting him when he was a new rising star.

Prince could fill up a list like this, so let's just keep moving.

He also wrote one for Sheena Easton about some kind of candy store or something. (Note that this one made Tipper Gore's "Filthy Fifteen" list of songs to be banned. In fairness, it is a really, really bad song.)

Dexy's Midnight Runners has a song that kids thought had a double entendre in the title, but it didn't. I mean, it is about sexual longing and trying to convince a girl named Eileen to have sex, but it's not a double entendre. It's just what he's saying straight-up. (You in that dress/My thoughts I confess/Verge on dirty... Ah, come on let's take off everything/Pretty red dress.)

Peter Gabriel had another one that's not even really a double entendre.

To finish up, let's go with my favorite:

AC/DC probably has a dozen songs that could make this list, but let's go with the most hilariously outrageous.

Which ones did I miss?

Here's one I missed -- Warrant singing about a girl who's as sweet as a fruit pastry.

posted by Ace at 07:48 PM

| Access Comments