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September 17, 2020

Hi-Ho ONT! Away!

Welcome to Thursday's ONT. I'm writing this Wednesday night, so I don't know for sure, but if everything went as planned the movers picked up everything I own today and I'm currently sitting in an empty house, huddled over a flickering iPad with only the warmth of a candle to sustain me. More on that in a minute, but meanwhile, as the Lone Ranger says, “ta dah dump, ta dah dump, ta dah picture dump”.


Things You Hope Are True

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Opinion, 'Ettes?


A Graphic For The Book Thread



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Like A Fish Needs A Bicycle




Can We Not Do This Please


That's At Fort McHenry

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Map Of Where To Move

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A Few Graphs


Looks About Right


Liberals 1


Liberals 2


Choose Your Warrior

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Funny Trump

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Tonight's ONT brought to you by Morons:

Usually there's a picture here, but I wanted to take a moment to highlight just how special this community is.

Exhibit the First: Alberta Oil Peon

My oldest son, Big, moved back to Alberta a few months ago. Unfortunately, his car wouldn't pass Alberta import inspection, so I sent him to AOP. AOP said something along the lines of “Yeah, I looked at his car and I've seen deer that were shot in the mountains and then dragged 10 miles behind an ATV that looked better. The only way he's going to get that thing to pass is if he gets 32 porn stars to fuck the inspector”. So, problem. The car is still licensed in the States, but he needs to get a Provincial licensed car.

AOP goes out and finds a friend who is selling an old car. He wants aboot $35,000 Canadian for it, but since that works out to something like a nickel in real money, I tell him to buy it. Then I get an email from AOP, and if you know him from his posts, it goes something like this:

“Got the car back to my place. It runs well, but the transmission oil registered about ½ a degree hot when I checked, so I dropped the tranny, tore it apart completely and fabbed a new one from raw ore I had lying around. The tires were a bit worn, so I chopped down a rubber tree and made new ones. The engine was good, all I had to do was strip it down, sandblast all of the parts, and put it back together. I also replaced the windshield wipers, but there's a dent in the driver's side door, I'm not sure what to do with that”.

Exhibit the Second: Jim (Sunk New Dawn)

When I announced that I was moving to Texas, I got an email from Jim offering the damndest thing. “Hey, I know you have 4 vehicles, I'd like to fly up and drive the RV down, towing the pickup, so that you and your wife can drive your two cars yourselves and make the move in 1 trip instead of 2”.

What an offer. What an incredible offer. Words can't express how much easier that is going to make the whole move. That's it. That's all there is. Jim's taking a weekend out of his life, and driving 1300 miles in a big old pig of an RV, towing a pickup, just to make my life easier. I was floored when he offered, and I'm floored now. He'll be here tomorrow and Saturday morning we head out. What an incredible gesture.

I made sure not to pack the bourbon.

So there you have it. Two magnificent Morons, doing what Morons do, and my family is the beneficiary of both. I've profusely thanked both of them privately, but I felt they deserved this public acknowledgment of their generosity. God bless you both.

That's it for the ONT, Next time I write one, it'll be from the Lone Star State of Texas. Peace!

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posted by WeirdDave at 09:55 PM

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