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August 24, 2020

Quarantine Cafe, Super-Easy, Barely an Inconvenience Edition

I've been working on this list for a while. I wanted to do a top ten pitch meetings, but I have at least 30 favorite ones.

Not only would that take forever to put together, but it would be too much for one post. No one would watch 30 Pitch Meetings in an evening.

I mean, I do, but I really like Pitch Meeting.

Instead of just writing about my favorite Pitch Meetings, I'll narrow the category: these are my favorite linked Pitch Meetings.

First up: I only saw one Fast and the Furious movie. I think it was the first one, when it came out on DVD forever ago.

I don't know much about the series.

I do know that every Pitch Meeting about the series is hysterical.

Fast 5ive.

The F8 of the Furious.

Hobbs & Shaw (a Fast and Furious spinoff).

I've watched these Pitch Meetings so often that I've kind of become a fan of the franchise without ever really watching the movies.

Game of Thrones produced two great Pitch Meetings: one for the entire premise of the show as well as for seasons one through seven, and then a great one, one of the all-time best pitch meetings, for the rushed and stupid final season of the show.

The joke about Dany forgetting the Ironbound navy, and the show forgetting a lot of other things, is a good one.

Some pitch meetings are just humorous, and aren't really strong critiques of the thing they're joking about. But that Pitch Meeting: Game of Thrones Season 8 really does score some critical hits on the show.

Another movie series which I don't particularly like, or dislike, but which make for outstanding Pitch Meetings, is the X-Men series. Almost every one of them is great.

The movies aren't really great and aren't really terrible (overall). I'm not sure what makes this mediocre franchise so ripe for jokes.

Or what makes Wolverine, in particular, such a magnet for comedy.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

"One of the mutants is Wade Wilson, and he's like a wise-cracking helicopter."

"Yeah because time is a man-made concept and everything is meaningless and nothing matters."

X-Men 3: The Last Stand. Here, the Screenwriter Guy wants to show he's a Big Boy so he starts killing off main characters left and right to show this is a Serious Movie.

I love the Big Boy gag.


I believe this one has one of the funniest bits ever -- it's about purses.

The Wolverine.

"She's practically not Poison Ivy!"

"I turned foreshadowing into a character."

This one has one of my all-time favorite jokes, when Producer Guy sees through Screenwriter Guy's weak-tea attempts at plot twists. (He does the same basic joke, but with enough new material to make it fresh, in the Detective Pokeman pitch meeting.)

This is either tied as my number one favorite pitch meeting, or is a close number two.

Finally, the Pitch Meetings for It and It, Chapter 2 are great.

It: Chapter 2 has a great ending bit ("Oh, you bullied me again!").

It's a worthy sequel -- though not an equal -- to the all-time best pitch meeting: It.

This one's just great, from the Abbot and Costello Who's on First? opening...

"It is the name of the book."

"What is?"


"What is the name of the book?"

"No, It is the name of the book."

... to some really great jokes about stuff being omitted from the movie -- "Well you should have read the book then, idiot."

Okay, so I think that's as many Pitch Meetings I can link in one post.

What are your favorites, and favorite jokes? I mean, apart from The Trinity.

PS: I'll put up a Republican National Convention thread around 8:50.

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posted by Ace at 07:45 PM

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