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April 28, 2020

American Sharia - The Church Of The Wuhan Flu
[Buck Throckmorton]

After years of fighting the left’s attempt to impose The Sustainable Organic Church Of The Carbon Apocalypse as America’s official state religion, I really didn’t expect an upstart religion to go from zero to Sharia in just two months, but here we are. How’s everyone enjoying the mandatory religious codes under our new state religion that just showed up from Wuhan?

Social distancing went from “keep a safe distance” to “remain behind closed doors at all times” in about the same time that Fat Tuesday gives way to Lent. And this sure is feeling like Lent in that you must sacrifice pleasures to be an obedient adherent. But unlike Christianity’s Lenten season, where there is no police force nor elected official commanding you to be properly observant, our new state religion will not tolerate anyone being deficiently pious.

There are many parallels that can be drawn between the required Covid observances and traditional religious practices, but the two that stand out the most are Masks and Shutter-At-Home.

Masks = Veils. Don’t misunderstand, if I’m in a fairly crowded store I’ll wear a mask (at least for now) to assure frightened co-shoppers that I’m not going to spread germs on them. And if I were on a plane or in a nursing home, I would certainly wear one just in case I’m an asymptomatic carrier. But the zealotry over masking is long past any health or safety concern. It’s become a public showing of obedience to the rules handed down by our ruling clerisy. A person riding his bike, alone, without wearing a mask is at risk of a public shaming from way too many Americans right now. He is not posing a risk to anyone, but neither is he publicly displaying obedience to the faith. And that will not be tolerated these days.

Shutter At Home = Observing The Sabbath. The high priests of our new religion are ordering police to arrest lone surfers, or dads playing catch with their kids at a park, or couples launching a canoe, etc. Their motivation has nothing to do with preventing the spread of disease. Zero. It is about regulating unapproved pleasure-seeking during a time when piety behind closed doors has been decreed mandatory. If you’re not miserable and pent up behind locked doors, you are a sinner.

And then there are the Church Ladies of our new state religion - the whole Karen meme is about these suddenly empowered secular Church Ladies who live for moments like this. Normally their only joy in life is scolding people for simple sins such as not using canvas grocery bags or perhaps driving a large SUV. Now these humorless vigilantes feel they are deputized to enforce the observance of the shutter-at-home sabbath. A sabbath that goes on day after day, week after week, without any end in sight. Karen could not be happier. It is a near certainty that lockdown-induced chastity being imposed on millions of people is a thought that warms the icy heart of these charmless people. (And yes, there are male Church Ladies. We most commonly refer to them as “journalists")

So go out and live in a manner that that is safe and makes you feel comfortable. But above all else – enjoy life. Publicly and proudly.

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posted by Open Blogger at 06:04 PM

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