First-World Problems...Part III

Yesterday at my formerly grand but now dysfunctional supermarket I stood on a single, socially distant line for far too long, because apparently I and my neighbors are incapable of standing six feet apart, and must be shepherded by store employees wearing surgical masks.

The worst and best part by far was the person in front of me. For 10 minutes I had an unfortunately unobstructed view of her tattoos, her greasy hair that didn't quite cover the three earrings, the ugly sneakers with cut-off leg warmers leading to shockingly tight spandex that was...how does one put this delicately...incapable of containing her quite impressive girth.

The people of Walmart had nothing on this woman!

One thing I have noticed in the last several days as more and more people are wearing masks is that the social distance has shrunk. Perhaps people assume that the masks convey some sort of magical immunity and that the appropriate social distance of six feet no longer applies? Regardless of the reason, I miss the early days when people stayed the fvck away from me!

So...what's the weird stuff you have seen? The disturbing? The good?

Have at it in the comments, and the usual prizes for the best ones are still in the trophy case. A one year Platinum Membership with Troll-B-Gon^TM and ampersand utility!

&topic=world_news"> posted by CBD at 02:15 PM

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