Jerry Falwell, Jr.: Hey, I Heard From Some Dynamite Blogger That's Really Good at Shelving and Scootering That Romeny Is Positioning Himself to be the Democrat's Vice President

Hey wait, I said that!

I don't think that any Democrat would actually offer the slot to Romeny. The one candidate who might do it -- Michael Bloomberg -- cannot do it, because he is already viewed with deep suspicion as Racist Sexist Billionaire.

See, liberals have this delusion that Mitt Romney is a conservative Republican. So they wouldn't find a Romney veepship added "balance" to the ticket, but just strengthened Michael Bloomberg's own "Republican conservatism."

Obviously Bernie Sanders would never offer. Someone like the Fiercely Heterosexual Cory Booker might, but he dropped out last month.

The leftwingers would not offer the job to Romney, and the people posing as "centrists" can't offer them the job, as the left already thinks they're Too Conservative.

But...

Do I think Romney himself has scams and schemes along these lines?

I do in fact.

He's got The Hunger.

Once you get a taste for the idea that you are special and Great enough to be President -- and that you might even be the literally Prophesied One sent by God Himself to save the Constitution -- you can never get rid of The Hunger.

One of these days I will stop compulsively rewatching all 14 seasons of Always Sunny.

But today is not that day.

By the way, as long as people are in the mood for Mitt Romney speculations: He strikes me as most likely a Twankversatile.

posted by Ace at 06:47 PM

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