The Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals on a Male Prisoner's Insistence That The Court Use His Preferred Female Pronouns: Nah, Bro

Settle down, Sally.

On Wednesday, a panel of the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals refused a male prisoner's motion that the name on his order of confinement be changed and that he be addressed by female pronouns on account of his female gender identity. The ruling on personal pronouns sets an important precedent for free speech, judicial impartiality, and the basic meaning of pronouns against the transgender movement's bastardization of language.

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The judges referenced a pronoun usage guide from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee which lists 9 different kinds of pronouns. The guide includes wacky pronouns like "e/ey," "(f)ae," "xemself," and more.

The judges warned that granting preferred pronouns in cases like Varner's would set a precedent that courts should use bizarre pronouns like these.

"If a court orders one litigant referred to as 'her' (instead of 'him'), then the court can hardly refuse when the next litigant moves to be referred to as 'xemself' (instead of 'himself')," they wrote. Such pronouns are not only silly -- they would make legal proceedings much harder to follow. "Deploying such neologisms could hinder communication among the parties and the court. And presumably the court’s order, if disobeyed, would be enforceable through its contempt power."

"We decline to enlist the federal judiciary in this quixotic undertaking," the 5th Circuit panel concluded.

Speaking as a member of the True Sexual Elite, I uphold this decision, and I hereby decree the 5th Circuit to be Judicially Sexy.

posted by Ace at 03:49 PM

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