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January 10, 2020
Iranian National Carrying a Machete and a Pick-Ax Arrested on Bridge to Mar-a-Lago
Not sure why he was carrying these implements. I guess he was planning on hacking through the Jungles of Palm Beach and then starting a diamond mine.
This article says he was also carrying knives. So his plan was to hack through the jungle, dig a diamond mine, and then try his hand at amateur sushi-making.
The Koch Foundation just paid a dozen "conservative" writers (calling these bribes "fellowships" and "residencies") to sign an open letter praising this hard-working immigrant for his industriousness in attempting three different jobs at once.