In Hellmouth Los Angeles, Homeless Maniac Throws Bucket Full of His Hot Diarrhea On To Random Tourist

Welcome to your Democrat future.

Heidi Van Tassel was parked in Hollywood after having a pleasant evening out with friends at an authentic Thai restaurant. Suddenly a man randomly pulled her out of the car, dragged her out to the middle of the street, and dumped a bucket of feces on her head, Van Tassel said and public records confirm.

"It was diarrhea. Hot liquid. I was soaked, and it was coming off my eyelashes and into my eyes," Van Tassel said. "Paramedics who came to treat me said there was so much of it on me, that it looked like the man was saving it up for a month."

Van Tassel was rushed to Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital after the grotesque attack, where she was tested for infectious diseases caused by contact with feces. She'll need to be retested every three months.

I sure hope he's an illegal alien. That way, he can avoid all punishment.

Oh wait, he did: He's already back out on the street, saving up his diarrhea for another disgusting biohazard attack.

Meanwhile, San Francisco says "Hey, don't leave us out of this wonderful Diarrhea Nightmare!" They're vowing to make it legal to use the streets as open sewers.

San Francisco's pee problem could soon get worse.

Chesa Boudin, the urine-and-feces-plagued city’s incoming district attorney, pledged during the campaign not to prosecute public urination and other quality-of-life crimes if he was elected. Boudin declared victory Saturday night after results showed him winning a plurality of votes in the DA race.

"We will not prosecute cases involving quality-of-life crimes. Crimes such as public camping, offering or soliciting sex, public urination, blocking a sidewalk, etc., should not and will not be prosecuted," Boudin vowed in response to an American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) questionnaire during the campaign.

And now people are attacking homeless encampments in San Francisco with... arrows.

The victims were not identified in reports but lived in an encampment around the area of Richmond. Both men were hit in the abdomen, and one was also struck in the leg, the Mercury News reported. A homeless woman was also targeted, but the assailant reportedly missed.

The report said the two were taken to a nearby hospital and underwent surgery. They are awake and recovering "well," police said.

Because the state won't deal with the homeless problem, there is now a bow-and-arrow-armed vigilante attacking camps.

Hey guys -- The Road Warrior was meant to be a dystopian fable, not an instruction manual.

San Francisco is about to report that its homeless population has risen 17%, but that's a lie. They changed the definition of "homeless" to make their Homeless City look better. The actual figure, using the real definition they used to use, is a 30% rise.

posted by Ace of Spades at 04:10 PM

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