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August 30, 2019

Ol' Potato Salad Joe Storytime Hour

The T-1000 was a good friend of mine. When we lost Fonzy in that tragic boating accident, the T-1000 turned and said to me, now this is a true story, he said to me now I know why you cry. When I asked him why, he told me you shut up now sir and stop asking questions. Because he died. He DIED!! Fonzy was dead and no one was gonna bring him back. Not President Jimmy Carter or his wife Nell who was on a little show you might have heard of called Gimme a Break. Me and the Terminator cried for days until the Taco Bell we ordered came. Tell you the truth I didn't even want tacos anymore. True story.

Posted by: Joe Biden

Here's another true story. I was 12 years old when I heard about the death of Martin Luther King Jr. Great statesman. Guy got shot for selling cigarettes on a St. Louis street corner in 1983. By police. This is a true story as I stand in front of you. I went to comfort my mother because she was upset. Turns out she smoked the same brand he got killed for. Camelback Smokes they were. True story.

Came in packs of 47. I remember them like it was yesterday. Smelled like Pine Sol.

And she told me I don't want you're damn comfort! He died! He DIED!!!! And she said now go put President Obama on the TV, Charlie.

Because he's gonna speak and want to hear it. We all wanted to hear it. Then the Spaceship Discovery exploded and we lost Captain Picard too. 1995 was not a good year.

Posted by: Joe Biden

This AOS Commenter Craze has inspired the Babylon Bee:

Biden Claims He Was There 3,000 Years Ago When Isildur Took The Ring And The Strength Of Men Failed

digg this
posted by Ace of Spades at 07:31 PM

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