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August 09, 2019

SJWs Now Spiraling Over Spin Class

Via the NYT -- archive.is version here -- leftwingers are now talking about boycotting their fake-fitness SoulCycle pretend-workouts.

They Paid $42 for a SoulCycle Ride, Not for Trump

A look at what happens when politics enters every spandex-clad corner of life, especially in the Hamptons.


Based on that headline, you might think the New York Times is reconsidering whether or not SJWs/leftwing white liberals should maybe stop politicizing literally everything in the world.

But nah, they're sympathetic to the leftist shriekers (of course), and are really questioning whether a passive minority investor should "politicize" a company he merely has a passive stake in by daring to exercise, as an independent person not connected in any way to his passive investment, his First Amendment rights to support a candidate.

Get ready for the most SJW sentence to ever open an SJW article.

Dressed in workout clothes, Lulu Hall hovered by the front door of the SoulCycle while fighting back tears.

Of course "Lulu" was "fighting back tears" at SoulCycle. How could she not be?

It might be fun to try variations of that sentence:

Toting a shopping basket scratch-made using indigenous materials and methods, Buttercup Princess Estevez stood shakily near the CBD oil section of the Mom's grocery, trembling with powerful convulsions of I Just Can't Even.

Back to the article:

She had already signed up for Thursday’s 10 a.m. indoor-cycling fitness class when she learned that Stephen Ross, the chairman of the Related Companies, whose principals own majority stakes in SoulCycle and the fitness club chain Equinox, was planning to host a fund-raiser at his Hamptons home for President Trump on Friday. Different levels of access will be offered to donors, including a photo with the president for $100,000.

Oh my gosh! Someone out in the world that I am not even remotely connected to, responsible for, or represented by has an opinion that differs from my own! I must find some way to Virtue Signal my disagreement with this complete stranger I only heard of two minutes ago!

Ms. Hall, a stay-at-home mom who lives in Brooklyn and nearby Sag Harbor, N.Y.--

I imagine she lives a life of true struggle, lounging at home, suspecting her Hispanic maid of stealing from her while at the same time shrieking about White Supremacy racism against Hispanics, overseeing her Nanny Manager as the Nanny Manager manages her nannies and sub-nannies and emergency reserve nannies.

I'm sure this isn't a case of another soulless, brainless rich white liberal woman without any struggle or passion in her life making up yet another fantasy dragon to pretend to slay to give some kind of imaginary meaning to her empty life.

--is a regular SoulCycle customer who has found inspiration in the brand's message of sweaty spirituality and community.

Oh, she seeks "spirituality and community" from a chain exercise boutique.

Forget what I said about seeking some kind of meaning in her empty, struggle-free house-wife-occupant life.

But she is not a supporter of Mr. Trump's, and was alarmed to realize the money she spends at SoulCycle, where 45-minute classes held in the Hamptons cost $42, was profiting a Trump booster who would be hosting the president at his home on Friday, just a few miles from her morning ride.

"I don't know what to do," she said as class was about to begin. "Part of me feels like a hypocrite for going."

The Non-Struggle is Real.

...

Ms. Hall, who had struggled with the decision over whether to attend the SoulCycle class,...

See? There's that word again -- struggle.

This vacuous, venomous bitch has no actual struggles in her soft, empty life, so she invents them, just to fill the time in between not fucking her husband and not parenting her children.

-- and wished afterward that she hadn't [gone to the class].

That's her wish -- to have not gone to a single 45 minute spin class.

Aim high, darlin'.

"I was annoyed no one said anything in the class about what is going on," she said.

I was annoyed that someone more obnoxious and less socially inhibited at me could have poisoned a class by bringing up an irrelevant political argument so that I could just agree with him without having the courage to have brought it up myself.

What a Strong, Capable, Fearless Woman.

"SoulCycle for me was something that made me feel good. But I think, for the time being, I am done."

Oh no, she'll have to find another expensive fad to fill the tine from one Wine Mom feeding to the next.

She's like Anne Frank, up in that attic, paging through the new Bergdorf-Goodman's catalog and wondering which Sex & the City character she's most like.


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posted by Ace of Spades at 03:13 PM

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