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May 20, 2019

Game of Boners: Over 1 Million Sign Petition Asking HBO to Remake Final Season So That It "Makes Sense"
And Also: Open Thread

Sometimes brevity isn't the soul of wit.

Sometimes brevity is just being lazy and slapdash.

As of Saturday evening, 1.02 million people had signed a petition saying the hit HBO series "deserves a final season that makes sense."

Dylan D., who started the petition to HBO, criticized series creators David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, accusing them of being "woefully incompetent writers when they have no source material (i.e. the books) to fall back on."

Apparently more signatures could be coming too, after Dylan posted an urgent plea saying: "Let's get to 1,500,000!"

I mentioned before that I don't have a problem with most of the actual story beats (except for what people are calling "Deus Ex Arya") except for the fact that they were very, very rushed, to the point where they just had no real impact because they were clearly writers' contrivances for the sake of being done with the series and not character evolutions that felt organic and earned.

If you're going to turn a character who has been a Big Damn Hero for seven years into a straight-up homicidal maniac villain, you need to show that descent into madness over the course of an entire season. Not three minutes here and there over the course of two episodes.

I don't hate that plotline on the merits; a lot of people have long suspected that was where the show was heading.

People suspected it because they know that George R.R. Martin says that he doesn't like conventional hero vs. villain stories. He prefers conflicts between people who are partly hero, partly villain. Or between heroes who just have a disagreement.

But is that what the producers of the show actually gave us? No. They did not give us a conflict between two admirable people who each had some flaws. Instead, they turned one of the two into Westerosi Hitler, and I guess want to defend this choice on grounds that it's "realistic."

But it's not. People don't turn into Hitler overnight.

A "realistic" ending would have involved two people, each with incompatible goals -- one to claim a birthright and establish a better world, one who just wants his own land to be free from rule by foreign despot -- but both essentially good. Just unable to compromise.

Turning one of the two into Dragon Fuhrer goes against whatever "gritty, realistic" point George R.R. Martin thinks he was making. It's just a final conflict between Good and Evil, just with the "evil" side being represented by someone who just executed the world's fastest personality change.

Damn, I've seen pro wrestlers foreshadow their impending heel-turn longer than these jokers did in this supposedly "prestige," "realistic" drama.

Nerdrotic, I think, mentioned that Dany had gone from hero to villain faster than Annikin Skywalker. "I will save people from everything, including death" to "brb, out murderin' all the younglings" in about 40 minutes.

Call her Daennykin.

Also: Jon Snow got jealous of Bran Stark getting all the attention for not doing anything at all and decided he would do even more nothing at all.

I mean, except for wearing the Sad and Confused Jon Stark face. Also known more simply as "the Jon Stark Face."

So you're the Prince Who Was Promised?

Promised what? A wedgie?

The Onion comes in for some snark.

'Game Of Thrones' Showrunners Disappointed With How Quality Of Fans Has Dropped Off Over Past Couple Seasons

LOS ANGELES-- Saying their once-beloved viewers have lost much of their luster in recent years, Game Of Thrones showrunners D.B. Weiss and David Benioff acknowledged Friday they have been frustrated with the way fans of the HBO series have declined in quality over the past few seasons.


"Nothing [the fans] do makes any sense anymore, and it just seems like they want the show to be over with as quickly as possible. It's pretty sad, to be honest."

Well, having split the fan base with a divisive and poorly thought out epic, what Benioff and Weiss need now is a property with a fully united fan base which won't give them any grief for screwing up a different once-beloved intellectual property.

So on to Star Wars, then!

David Benioff and D.B. Weiss moving to 'Star Wars': In an announcement that hopes to bring together fans of the biggest fantasy series of all time with the biggest sci-fi franchise, the showrunners for "Game of Thrones" will transition to a galaxy far, far away once Disney gets back to releasing new "Star Wars" movies. Assuming the world doesn’t end before the first arrives in 2022, Benioff and Weiss have shown gifts for compression and spectacle in adapting George R.R. Martin’s sprawling novels, but the past few seasons have revealed some big holes in their storytelling game. Maybe there’s a "Star Wars" book someone can write first?

I've got a baaad feeling about this...


Here we go again!

What did you guys think? Like the show's producers, I'm just glad it's over so I can move on to more interesting material.

Oh, btw: We Are Real News, Mr. President.


David Frenchie says, give me some of that sweet action:

David Frenchie really relates to the floppy weiners.

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