Sponsored Content




Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!



Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

NoVaMoMe 2024: 06/08/2024
Arlington, VA
Details to follow


Texas MoMe 2024: 10/18/2024-10/19/2024 Corsicana,TX
Contact Ben Had for info





















« Andrew C. McCarthy: Robert Mueller Violated Prosecutorial Standards By Smearing Trump Without the Evidence For an Actual Criminal Charge | Main | Thursday Overnight Open Thread (4/18/19) »
April 18, 2019

Babylon Bee Goofs on CNN Cutlists



Faith tested is faith strengthened.

ATLANTA, GA--Anchors at CNN headquarters have made a bold statement of unwavering faith after the Mueller Report revealed no actual evidence that Trump colluded with Russia. "We believe in collusion with all our hearts and will never let the world's teachings get in the way of that," said Jim Acosta while mumbling mantras quietly in a room misty with burning incense.



"If God allowed this report to be written in the manner that it was, He did so to test our unshakable faith in what we know to be true," said Anderson Cooper.

"We believe in the one true Russian collusion, the one that was spoken into truth and made real far before any evidence was brought before this dark world," added Natalie Allen.

They then recited the Collusion Catechism, but you'll have to click over for that.

Oh -- and who will CNN be criminally blackmailing (threat to dox + demand that one give up a right one has, such as free speech) the maker of this gif?

They've blackmailed a guy before; are they going to commit blackmail again?



Caution, CNN: You'd better read the blackmail and extortion laws of the state your next victim lives in closely. Threatening to release information that someone wants to keep private, but promising to not release that if they do something they are not legally required to do, or not do something they are legally entitled to do (such as post memes on the internet), does in fact satisfy the elements of blackmail and/or extortion in many states.

Pro-tip: It's generally good to avoid sentences that include the elements 1) I will reveal this thing about you that you do not want revealed and 2) unless you do this thing for me, or stop doing this thing I don't want you to do.

Sometimes prosecutors take a look at sentences like that and find the grammar to be criminal.

Now that Trump is unchained, who knows what investigations his DOJ might undertake?

And speaking of journalists engaging in dubious behavior when they feel that someone isn't properly Respectin' Their Authoritah:






A Columbia Journalism Review writer (she claims, at least) vindictively using reportorial skills and tools for vengeance against a guy who didn't want to date her?!

I guess this is that "toxic masculinity" feminists keep talking about. Maybe some toxic femininity here?

Stay classy, "Journalists."

And more from the Babylon Bee:



They're not wholly on Trump's side, though:



Well yeah he did do that.

digg this
posted by Ace of Spades at 08:00 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Program administratos.: "132 I wonder how many non illegals are signing up ..."

N: "Reminds me of Jim Carrey in the toilet when that s ..."

Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead!: "It's only barely plausible. It is much more plausi ..."

N: "Some of the gangs actually have cult-religious stu ..."

Dr. Claw: "173 'If this is true and proved, then Putin wins ..."

Helena Handbasket: ">>> 181 >>> I am not defending Ukraine, but the un ..."

Vigo, Scourge of Carpathia, Sorrow of Moldavia: "What was will be! What is will be no more! ..."

Hairyback Guy: "not necessarily in that order, it might also be si ..."

N: "I'd bet the people implementing the program are th ..."

Helena Handbasket: ">>> 147 Visegrád 24 @visegrad24 Mar 26 Inter ..."

G'rump928(c): "[i]These migrants ARE Americans now - they're not ..."

Braenyard: ">>> I am not defending Ukraine, but the uncontroll ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64