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March 22, 2019

Tucker Carlson Worries About Brian "Tater" Stelter's Hunger Pangs; Sends Him a Dozen Jelly Donuts

What a mensch!

Sweet guy. He's made of nothin' but love.

Fox News host Tucker Carlson sent CNN Chief Media Correspondent Brian Stelter a dozen jelly donuts. Stelter received them Wednesday in New York, but so far has not reached out to Carlson in response. Sources tell The Mirror that Stelter was thrilled to get the delicate pastries but agitated and confused by the gesture. He told a number of people he had no idea what the point was.

Was it a peace offering? Maybe. It’s hard to get inside anyone's brain or stomach. But what is certain is that there are more jelly donuts on Stelter's horizon. From what I'm told, as many as he needs.

So jelly donuts every day?

The message might be about Brian Stelter's jelly-like core -- he's a bought-and-paid-for Company Man who doesn't dare say anything critical about his leftwing media allies or the Democrat Party's cherished narratives.

Also, a less-obvious message might be that Brian Stelter is super-fat and needs to change the pictures he uses for social media to pictures taken within 10 of his current BMI measurement.

I mean, seriously: It's one thing for an aging Hollywood starlet to use publicity pictures of herself as a younger woman, but Stelter is supposed a journalist, and he insists on using pictures of himself from 10 years and 70 pounds ago.

The donuts came from Dunkin' Donuts. The box was signed with a Sharpie: "Brian! Enjoy. All best, Tucker Carlson."

Tater's got a big, wide Smilex-gas Joker mouth. That boy looks like he could suck the chrome off a robot-dick.

Old Post: Actually, all of the best donuts are not donuts.

PS: New CNN spin-line: the report might contained uncharged (?) obstruction of justice charges. See they're charges, but uncharged. We should still hold out hope.

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posted by Ace of Spades at 07:14 PM

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