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« An Occasional Fishing Thread [Bandersnatch] | Main | EMT 02/24/19 »
February 23, 2019

Saturday Overnight Open Thread (2/23/19)

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The Saturday Night Joke


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A functioning alcoholic on the top of his game. Yet, really totally unhappy. 'My Restaurant Was the Greatest Show of Excess You’d Ever Seen, and It Almost Killed Me'

I was never falling-down drunk. I was never belligerent. I always got my work done. I was never unkempt. I was always clean, I was always shaved, I always performed at work. I was always kind and gracious in the dining room. But I lived in hell.

When we opened Joe Beef in 2005, we were inspired by Martin Picard at Au Pied de Cochon, by these grandiose bistros of Paris, by seafood towers, by excess. We were two portly men who ate and drank well. I was and still am very insecure about anybody coming to the restaurant and not having a spectacular meal. I want people to drink and eat to excess. I promote it.

***


Our forefathers settled this country with blood, sweat and tears. Do you think they would have uttered the following sentence? "My left shoe won't even reboot." H/T Maetenloch

Nike users are experiencing some technical difficulties in the wild world of connected footwear. Nike's $350 "Adapt BB" sneakers are the latest in the company's line of self-lacing shoes, and they come with the "Nike Adapt" app for Android and iOS. The app pairs with the shoes and lets you adjust the tightness of the laces, customize the lights (yeah, there are lights), and see, uh, how much battery life your shoes have left. The only problem: Nike's Android app doesn't work.

Android users report that their new kicks aren't pairing with the app properly, and some customers report failed firmware updates for the shoes, which render them unable to pair with the app at all. Nike's app on Google Play has been flooded with 1-star reviews in response to the faulty update.


***


Maybe it's you that have issues and the men are perfectly healthy and somewhat normal.

Three Swedish feminist organisations, Sweden's Women's Lobby, the National Organisation for Women's Shelters and Young Women's Shelters (Roks) as well as the empowerment organisation Unizon have published a joint appeal in the newspaper Expressen, in which they demand a state ban on "dangerous" sex robots for men.

The debaters noted that today's sex robots often have the "appearances and attributes typical of the objectifying, sexualised and degrading attitude to women found in today's mainstream pornography".

"Why are men willing to pay tens of thousands of dollars for a robot that obeys their smallest command?" the feminists asked rhetorically. "A female robot cannot say no to something that the man wants, if she is not programmed to do so", the feminists complained.

***

The next time you get to Kewaskum, WI, you will want to stop and patronize the local Dairy Queen. H/T Bitter Clinger

A Dairy Queen restaurant in Kewaskum Wisconsin, has refused to tender public apologies over a sign inscription posted at its door entrance. This comes after the sign post showing bold inscriptions of various controversial messages to patrons, went viral on social media the previous week.

Note that this same notice had been hanging on the restaurant’s door post for over four years, with no initial record of dissatisfaction or disgust for the conveyed messages.


***

Contrary to popular belief, The ONT is always looking out for you. 83 restaurants that give you a freebie on your birthday.


***


The ONT Musical Interlude


No musical history just some good tunes...........



***


So when headed to Rehab, don't eat the f*cking Meth. Genius Award Winner.

Crew members “became concerned” about his behavior almost immediately and about a half hour after takeoff, the pilot decided to land in Portland because he was afraid Smyser would rush the cockpit.

Passengers helped keep Smyser in his seat by physically blocking him until officers arrived and took him into custody.

Smyser allegedly wrote an apology letter and admitted he’d eaten meth prior to boarding the plane.


***


Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by My Altar Ego.

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Notice: Posted with permission by the Ace Media Empire, AceCorp, LLC and Shelves R Us. No receipt, no refund, that simple.

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