LOL: The Oscars Academy Is "Considering" Having No Host at All

They're probably "considering" this because, due to #WokeStasi political purges, No one in their g****** right mind would put himself through the Struggle Session Gauntlet of just going on TV and telling terrible, terrible jokes.

This will be a spectacular televised demonstration of The Great Disappearing -- an Oscars with no host, because they #Purged the last one and no further volunteers for the bloody altar of Political Correctness are volunteering.

I'd love it.

And we'd have an Oscars with no audience and no host.

Kevin Hart's abrupt departure as Oscars host has left the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences scrambling to find someone to take the gig. As of now, the situation remains fluid as the group's leadership explores options, including going host-less, individuals familiar with the situation told Variety.

The Academy was blindsided by Hart's announced departure Thursday night, according to two insiders. The Board of Governors will convene on Tuesday night at a previously-scheduled meeting where the matter will inevitably be discussed.

"They're freaking out," said a top comedy agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity. There were no contingency plans in place by the Academy or broadcaster ABC, according to another insider. The show's producers are back to square one.

Late night hosts might seem an obvious choice, given their national profiles and history with the show (think Jimmy Kimmel, Jon Stewart and David Letterman). But the Academy is now said to be gun shy about going with someone anyone who might be too edgy, noted an industry source. Then again, going too safe could be fatal for the show’s record-low ratings -- the telecast was watched by 25.6 million people in March, a 19 percent drop from the previous year.

Another option being tossed around is not having any host at all, but rather "a bunch of huge celebs, something 'SNL' style, and buzzy people" to keep the show moving, the insiders said. A stunt like a group monologue was floated, one source added.

Yes, let's see a group of people we can hang from the fucking lampposts for our Ritual Mortification Amusement.

I like Kevin Hart. I don't love him, but I like him.

But if this guy winds up putting The Great Disappearing on live TV, because he dared to do three things --

1, saying "Fuck you, I'm not apologizing again, I didn't even mean the first fucking apology you made me make and I'm a lot richer now than I was then so go fuck yourself" and then

2, saying, "You know what? I just called my accountant and he says I'm richer than I thought I was. So I don't need to do the fucking Oscars. Go fuck yourselves and good luck getting a host ready by showtime" and then

3, not saying "Nah it's cool, we're fine" when other black people start accusing the #OscarsSoWhite of racism--

then I think I will love him.

They set the fires. Let the motherfuckers burn.

Verses 2 through 5: From Victor29.

2 And I saw a strong Tweeter proclaiming with a loud voice, Who is worthy to open the envelope, and to loose the seals thereof?

3 And no man in hollywood, nor in the comedy circuit, was able to open the envelope, neither to look thereon.

4 And I wept much, because no man was found worthy to open and to read the envelope, neither to look thereon.

posted by Ace of Spades at 11:55 AM

| Access Comments