Ted Cruz Defeats TV Clown and Pretend Tough Guy Jimmy Kimmel In a Charity Basketball One-on-One

I thought Jimmy Kimmel would win -- well, I would have thought he would win, because he fancies himself a tough guy, until Ted Cruz challenged him, and then Kimmel only grudgingly, timidly accepted the challenge.

Then I figured: Well, if Ted Cruz is challenging him, and I know Ted Cruz to not be an idiot, then I figure Ted Cruz must be better at basketball than I would have guessed.

And Jimmy Kimmel suddenly softening his trash talk indicated that Kimmel knew something about his own athletic abilities as well.

So Ted Cruz is a little butcher than I had thought.

Look at this sissy trying to make his excuses for his loss, and score a rhetorical "win," while still losing:

He sounds scared, like a little pussycat hearing thunder for the first time.

Prior to the game the late night host conceded that he doesn't 'have any moves' and was mostly banking on his defense skills.

'I think this could bring an end to the sport of basketball as we know it. I'm not a basketball player and yet I know deep in my heart I know that I must be able to beat Ted Cruz,' Kimmel said to ABC.

Sad!

Well... Apparently the game was played badly by both sides, or at least that's the way a leftwing paper writes it up to spread ignominy around to both sides.

Still, the game took two hours and they changed the endpoint from first to 15 to first to 11 due to the long length of it.

posted by Ace of Spades at 04:30 PM

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