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January 28, 2018

Media Groundhog Day (MJ)

Great movie. Really funny in a charming way.

We're stuck in our own version of Groundhog Day with the media. They've obsessively wobbled from conspiracy to conspiracy in order to feel better about Dr. President Donald Trump Jr, peace be upon him, savior of the free world, as President.

First, they decided that he wasn't really president and gave Jill Stein millions upon millions of dollars so that she could...do...something.

Swiftly following Jill Stein's brief turn as a disposable celebutard, the media decided that the Logan Act and Emoluments Clause were certainly violated. Trump must go cuz vague, 200 year old reasons!

And then Trump didn't really want to be President. He was going to quit and through some miracle Hillary would be appointed the leader of the free world. Heavy drinking and wish casting ensued.

While the media shouted at clouds, got drunk, and groped every piece of ass within five finger distance, they decided that Trump was too boorish to be President. The cabinet, various advisors, possibly Jared Kushner (cuz he's a Joo!) or maybe even Steve Bannon were actually running country.

Next the media decided that Putin was really the President based on a tabloid rumor that Donny Two Scoops peed on a bed with a few hookers 10 years ago. The former KGB agent then blackmailed Trump into running for the presidency, hacked the election, swayed public opinion with millions of fake news stories, and made Hillary collapse on 9/11 due to heat exhaustion in the sweltering 68 degree heat. This really happened; some in the media are still flogging that chicken today.

As the RUSSIA! conspiracy unfolded, the media hedged their bets by claiming that Trump was so unhinged and mentally ill that he should be removed via the 25th Amendment. Lots of internet head doctors that had never been within combover distance of the President were sure that he, not they, were totally nuts.

And then Trump did something unforgivable. He proved their theories wrong.

So now we're back to the simple safe space and comfort animal that started it all: Trump isn't really the President.

After reading this trash from Matt Yglesias, I realized that its not just that the media are dumb, its that they're dumb and lazy, and infantile. And so is their liberal base.

They're stuck in the loop, thumb in mouth, rocking too and fro, hoping that the bad man isn't really in charge while he goes about the business of Making America What It Always Was, Except For the Last Eight Years Under That Loser Obama.

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posted by Open Blogger at 08:45 PM

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