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Trump Threatens to Cut Foreign Aid to Countries That Vote to Forbid the US from Recognizing Jerusalem as Israel's Capital | Main | The Morning Report 12/21/17
December 20, 2017

Wednesday Overnight Open Thread (12/20/17) Not Feeling Serious Edition


(The ONT may or may not be ready)


Quotes of The Day

Quote I

“If someone is running for the most powerful position in the world, behavioral professionals should be able to speak out if they take the time to properly investigate a candidate. There should be a high threshold for doing so, but psychologists and psychiatrists should not feel gagged if they want to contribute to a national conversation about a presidential candidate or current president.” Scott Lilienfeld, PhD

You want quotes? We'll give you insulting quotes.


Does shoe size measure up to penis length? You'll have to read the article.

Shoehorn Data
“Can Shoe Size Predict Penile Length?”, J. Shah and N. Christopher, BJU International, vol. 90, no. 6, October 2002, pp. 586–8. (Thanks to Edward Crutchley for bringing this to our attention.) The authors, who are at St. Mary’s Hospital, and Institute of Urology, University College Hospitals, London, U.K., confirm the work of 1998 Ig Nobel Prizewinners Jerald Bain and Kerry Siminoski. Shah and Christopher summarize their work thus:

SUBJECTS AND METHODS: Two urologists measured the stretched penile length of 104 men in a prospective study and related this to their shoe size


As we approach Christmas many of you will be settling in your favorite furniture and kicking back and watching Christmas movies. Here are 10 horrible facts about iconic Christmas movies.


Their intentions were good, the results? Not so much. Christmas design fails.


The Grinch that stole Christmas is repentant.

This reminds me of a woman who illustrates this disconnect perfectly. For a long time, in my early working years, I felt extremely uncomfortable around Christmas time. I was far more liberal then and far more suspicious of Christians around me.

I would walk around listening to Christmas music while attempting to block out all religious connotations. I would drive past Nativity scenes on public property and scowl at their imposition of Christian faith on everybody. I bitterly frowned at the lack of Chanukah-related decorations at the local stores. I felt completely outside of society, looking in from the cold at happy families eating their large Christmas dinners.


The ultimate gift for the left wing politician or Hollywood actor and/or mogul.

Apple is doing its part to help prevent unwanted sexual advances and inappropriate conduct by men in the workplace.
A new version of the popular Apple Watch detects when a man’s breathing increases, his blood pressure rises, and he shows any signs of sexual arousal and delivers an immediate 500-volt jolt to the wearer.

The Apple Watch with Boner Blaster is the #1 gift of human resources departments this year. (idownloadblog.com)
“It really works,” said one man who was making advances on a woman at his law firm who wanted nothing to do with him. “I started to get a woody as I approached her from behind and suddenly, WHAM, I got an instant shock from my new Apple Watch and my pocket rocket lost all its thrust. I think that probably saved my job.”
Several names were initially floated at Apple for its new watch feature, including the “Weinstein Wacker,” the “Johnson Jolter,” the “Libido Disruptor,” and the “Snake Strangler,” but the company ultimately decided on the “Boner Blaster.”
Apple is expecting big sales for its new watch series,

If only...........


Lately The ONT has taken some swipes at Police in general. But we also give credit where credit is due. The police with the help of a civilian arrest the Grinch.

On Monday, the story had started making the rounds and TyLon was invited by Officer Develle to apprehend the Grinch.

The Clarion Ledger reports:

The Grinch could be charged with crimes including attempted theft of Christmas, Develle said. It wasn't as much about charging him for his wrongdoing as keeping a promise to her new friend.


The ONT Musical Interlude




So the Muslims are offended by Christmas trees. What else is new?


A couple of Genius Award Winners tonight.

Making porn is normally not Genius Award Winner material. Making porn in the county jail, well that is a Genius Award Winner.

Hanging out with your grandparents=good. Hanging out with your drug dealer brother=bad.Genius Award Winner.


Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Parenting Skills & Advice.


Notice: Posted with permission by AceCorp, LLC. Restrooms are for paying customers only.

digg this
posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 10:26 PM

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