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November 02, 2017

Gender Bending ONT

Happy Thursday everyone, welcome to the ONT. Everybody needs to enter their gender to proceed.

gender.jpg

Say, does anyone happen to notice what's missing from that list?


Top. Men.


So, GQ thought it would weigh in on the President’s tweets today:

GQ1.jpg


It took a bit, but eventually these mental giants realized how stupid they were and printed a retraction.


GQ2.jpg

I'm in awe of their mental acuity.

ETA: I see Ace already stole my thunder here. Well, tough, I just got in and I don't have time to find something with which to replace it. Read it again and pretend that it's all new


This was in response to DJT tweeting that the New York jihadi should get the death penalty. Every lawyer I know immediately started having kittens, noting (rightly) that Trump's statement handed the defense legal team a great big club they could use to claim the jury pool was tainted by the statement, requiring at the very least an extensive voir dire to neutralize the damage. Again, they are absolutely right, but what a lot of them don't see is that unless he is acquitted, this is a win/win situation for Trump. If he gets the DP, Trump can crow that he called for it, if he gets a lesser sentence like life without parole (I typoed “fife w/o parole”, a truly horrifying sentence to contemplate unless one is a really, really, REALLY big fan of Revolutionary War era music), Trump can use it to attack the prosecution as weak, something that most people will agree with (justified or not).


More Gender Bending Genius


gender study.jpg


Aloha Snackbar!


Someone made a parody clip from the Muppet Show. I'm amazed that anyone thought this was real, but it is damn funny.


I saw someone claim that what the man shouted was really “Aloo Akbar”. Irritated Arabic speakers immediately informed him that that translated as “Potatoes are the greatest”, and while potatoes are tasty, it was an unlikely thing to yell. Someone else stated that what he yelled was immaterial, it wouldn't matter of he yelled “I love fried chicken!”, which netted this icy rejoinder:


Brutal.


Holy Flaming Pumpkins Batman!

Last week I linked a tweet that talked about putting a roll of toilet paper soaked in kerosene in your pumpkin. I tried it Halloween night, and the results were awesome.



Try at your own risk, keep well clear of children, building and pets, only attempt in a well ventilated area outside, etc..


Another One of These Things

Since they seem to be a crowd favorite.

The Great Pineapple War Begins




Baseball Has Been Very, Very Good to Me


This year's World Series was a classic. Game 5 might just be the best baseball game I've ever seen, surpassing last year's Game 7. Still, I think the very best story from the series might just be the redemption of Evan Gattis. A tremendously talented young baseball player, personal issues from his parents' divorce caused him to spiral out of control into drug and alcohol abuse, costing him his baseball career. Ten years ago he was working as a janitor. An iron will and steadfast determination helped him kick his demons, and he then worked his way back into baseball, up the minor league ladder and into the bigs. Last night he stood on the hallowed firmament of Dodger Stadium as a world champion. What an inspiration for all of us.

Related: Carlos Correa crushes the dreams of every guy who thinks it would be special and unique to propose on the Jumbotron at a sporting event. You're never going to top this guys. Carlos Correa, you've just won the World Series, what are you going to do next?



LIKE. A. BOSS.


Tonight's ONT brought to you by tattoos:

Row.jpg

The Yahoo Group has a tattoo of a naked woman over a banner that says “Mom”.

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posted by WeirdDave at 10:06 PM

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