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August 26, 2017

Saturday Afternoon Chess/Open Thread (Featuring Dress Pr0n) 08-26-2017

chess masters by oscargrafias deviantart.jpg
Chess Masters by Oscar Grafias
(click to embiggen)

Good afternoon morons and moronettes, and welcome to the Saturday Afternoon Chess/Open Thread, the only AoSHQ thread with content specifically for all of us chess nerds who pay homage in the temple of Caïssa, goddess of the chessboard. Also, dress pr0n. Each week, I pick out a few lovely, modest, conservative dresses for the 'ettes to admire and appraise. And, for those of you who aren't nerdly enough for chess, you can use this thread to talk about checkers, or other games, or politics, or whatever you wish, only please try to keep it civil. Nobody wants to be forced to bathe in tomatoes on a Saturday afternoon, even if it is with a bunch of cute little kids.

Problem 1 - White To Play (538)

Hint: White mates in 2

20170826 - Problem 1.jpg
2k5/2p1b1r1/R7/pp4p1/1P5p/P3BB1P/5PP1/6K1 w - - 0 1

Problem - 2 Black To Play (554)

Hint: Black mates in 4

20170826 - Problem 2.jpg
8/4k3/4Pq2/8/2P5/1P4p1/P3Q1P1/6Kn b - - 0 1

Spendy Chess Items

90000 dollar chess set.jpg

'Ette bluebell sent me this link to a custom-built decorative chess set made from mammoth ivory, carved to look like nood guys doing an interpretive dance.

I say "decorative" because I can't imagine playing an actual game on it. Look at it, and at other photos at the link. The pieces are beautifully carved, but I have no idea which ones are supposed to be which.

Only $90,000.

And you have to allow 24-36 weeks lead time. This is not a set they can afford to have a lot of stock sitting around just waiting for buyers.

Update: According to bluebell, the chess set was inspired by this video.

The House of Staunton has its own collectors' edition, carved from mammoth ivory (there must be a lot of it about), and the price is "only" $13,000.

morphy watch.jpg

Click To Embiggen

Me, I'd rather have this watch, which is a replica of the pocket watch American Chess Master Paul Morphy was presented with from the Testimonial Committee of the New York Chess Club. The "hour" numbers on the dial have been replaced with little chess symbols. Nobody knows what happened to the one originally given to Morphy, but the original dial survives and is located in a watch museum.

Limited Edition of 25 pieces in Stainless Steel. $13,900.00
Limited Edition of 5 pieces in 18K Rose Gold. $29,900.00
Limited Edition of 3 pieces in Platinum. $39,900.00

Problem 3 - White To Play (BWTC 81)

Hint: White mates in 6

20170826 - Problem 3.jpg
4kb1r/pp3ppp/q3b3/6Q1/1n1N4/2r1B3/PPP2PPP/2KRR3 w k - 0 1

Problem 4 - White To Play (494)

Hint: White mates in 6

20170826 - Problem 4.jpg
R3R3/5prk/3rp2p/3p1b2/2q2P2/6P1/4P1BP/Q5K1 w - - 0 1

Endgame of the Week (503)

White to play. Can he force the black king out of there to queen his pawn, and, if so, how?

Hint: Let the pawn go and get it later at a more opportune time

20170826 - Endgame.jpg
5k2/4p2p/6P1/3K4/8/4B3/8/8 w - - 0 1

Dress Pr0n For The 'Ettes

Here are some dresses-with-hat pics I didn't get to last week:

20170826 dress pr0n 66.jpg

20170826 dress pr0n 72.jpg

20170826 dress pr0n 78.jpg

20170826 dress pr0n 91.jpg


Solutions Update

Problem 1 - White To Play

20170826 - Problem 1.jpg
2k5/2p1b1r1/R7/pp4p1/1P5p/P3BB1P/5PP1/6K1 w - - 0 1


This cuts off the d7 escape square.


Or any other move, it doesn't matter. Black cannot prevent


Problem - 2 Black To Play

20170826 - Problem 2.jpg
8/4k3/4Pq2/8/2P5/1P4p1/P3Q1P1/6Kn b - - 0 1

1... Qa1+!
2. Qf1 Qd4+
3. Kxh1

If 3.Qf2 then 3...gxf2+ 4.Kf1 Qd1#

4.Kg1 Qh2#

Problem 3 - White To Play

20170826 - Problem 3.jpg
4kb1r/pp3ppp/q3b3/6Q1/1n1N4/2r1B3/PPP2PPP/2KRR3 w k - 0 1

1.Qd8+ Kxd8
2.Nxe6+ Ke7

If 2...Ke8 then 3.Nxg7+ Bxg7 (3...Ke7 4.Bg5#) 4.Bg5+ Be5 (or 4...Qe6) 5.Rd8#

3.Bg5+ f6
4.Nd8+ Re3
5.Rxe3+ Qe6

Problem 4 - White To Play

20170826 - Problem 4.jpg
R3R3/5prk/3rp2p/3p1b2/2q2P2/6P1/4P1BP/Q5K1 w - - 0 1

1. Rh8+! Kg6
2. Rxh6+ Kxh6
3. Qf6+ Kh7

If not Kh7 then 3...Kh5 4.Rh8+ Kg4 (4...Rh7 5.Qg5#) 5.Bf3#


3...Bg6 4.Qg5+ Kh7 5.Qh4+ Bh5 6.Qxh5#

4.Qh4+ Kg6
5.Qg5+ Kh7

Endgame of the Week

20170826 - Endgame.jpg
5k2/4p2p/6P1/3K4/8/4B3/8/8 w - - 0 1

White needs to secure his pawn. Without it, he cannot win.

1.Bh6+ Kg8

The pawn is now secure.


DO NOT TAKE THE PAWN! It's stalemate if he does.

3.Kd6 Kf7
4.Ke5 Kg8

Now White will force Black to advance his free pawn.

5.Kf6 e5
6.Ke6 e4
7.Kf6 e3
8.Bxe3 h6
9.Bxh6 Kh7

And now Black's king is forced out.

10.Kf7 Kxh6
11.g8=Q and wins

Hope to see you all next week!


Note: that cryptic line of letters and numbers you see underneath each board diagram is a representation of the position in what is known as "Forsyth-Edwards Notation", or F.E.N. It's actually readable by humans. Most computer applications nowadays can read FEN, so those of you who may want to study the position, you can copy the line of FEN and paste into your chess app and it should automatically recreate the position on its display board. Or, Windows users can just "triple click" on it and the entire line will be highlighted so you can copy and past it into your chess app.


So that about wraps it up for this week. Chess thread tips, suggestions, bribes, rumors, threats, and insults may be sent to my yahoo address: OregonMuse little-a-in-a-circle yahoo dott com.

digg this
posted by OregonMuse at 05:45 PM

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