Sponsored Content

Intermarkets' Privacy Policy

Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!

Recent Entries
Absent Friends
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

Ace of Spades Pet Thread | Main | Saturday Evening Movie Thread 07-22-2017 [Hosted By: TheJamesMadison]
July 22, 2017

Saturday Afternoon Chess/Open Thread (Featuring Dress Pr0n) 07-22-2017

Michael Cheval - Wake up call in wonderland.jpeg
Wake Up Call In Wonderland
Michael Cheval

Good afternoon morons and moronettes, and welcome to the Saturday Afternoon Chess/Open Thread, the only AoSHQ thread with content specifically for all of us chess nerds who pay homage in the temple of Caïssa, goddess of the chessboard. Also, dress pr0n. Each week, I pick out a few lovely, modest, conservative dresses for the 'ettes to admire and appraise. And, for those of you who aren't nerdly enough for chess, you can use this thread to talk about checkers, or other games, or politics, or whatever you wish, only please try to keep it civil. Nobody wants to get in the middle of a bout of poo flinging on a Saturday afternoon.

Problem 1 - Black To Play (530)

Hint: Black mates in 2

20170722 - Problem 1.jpg
6k1/8/8/3bQ3/4n3/8/7P/5R1K b - - 0 1

Problem 2 - White To Play (522)

This is a position from an actual game. Black has just played 19...Qxe5, capturing the 'e' pawn. Why is this a bad move?

Hint: White wins material

20170722 - Problem 2.jpg
r3r1k1/p1pb2pp/1bp5/2Npq3/8/2Q1B3/PPP3PP/4RRK1 w - - 0 20


What about your chess GAINZZZ, brah?

Problem 3 - White To Play (529)

Hint: Black either is mated in 5, or loses material

20170722 - Problem 3.jpg
3r2k1/5p1p/2p3p1/p7/1pP5/1P2nQPP/P2q2B1/5R1K w - - 0 1

Problem 4 - White To Play (BWTC 82)

Hint: White mates in 4

20170722 - Problem 4.jpg
r1b2qrk/pp3p1p/4pPpQ/8/8/5N2/P4PPP/3R2KR w - - 0 1

Endgame of the Week (488 )

White to play. A beautiful illustration of the power of the knight.

Hint: Black's bishop is toast

20170722- Endgame.jpg
2k5/3N4/8/8/8/7B/8/3b1K2 w - - 0 1

Dress Pr0n For The 'Ettes -- International Edition

Tagline: "The OregonMuse, he knows what women like."

This week, I'm featuring dress pr0n from around the world.

First up, here are some examples of what Kurdish women in Syria wear when the murdering ISIS thugs are no longer around to smother them all in Hefty bags:

20170722 dress pr0n 39.jpg

This is one of the search results I got back when I Googled for "traditional dress canada images". I have no idea why this dress is uniquely Canadian, and in fact, it may not be "Canadian" at all, but even so, I think it's quite lovely, so I just had to show it to you all:

20170722 canada.jpg

"Well, the Ukraine girls really knock me out...":

20170722 dress pr0n 40.jpg


20170722 dress pr0n 41.jpg


20170722 dress pr0n 42.jpg

Traditional Chinese wedding dress:

20170722 dress pr0n 43.jpg

OK, I think I've got dresses from every continent in today's international edition of the dress pr0n thread. Oh wait, Antarctica. I don't have one from Antarctica. Let me remedy that:

20170722 penguins.jpg


Solutions Update

Problem 1 - Black To Play

20170722 - Problem 1.jpg
6k1/8/8/3bQ3/4n3/8/7P/5R1K b - - 0 1


2.Kg1 Nh3#

Problem 2 - White To Play

20170722 - Problem 2.jpg
r3r1k1/p1pb2pp/1bp5/2Npq3/8/2Q1B3/PPP3PP/4RRK1 w - - 0 20

20. Rf8+!

Black loses either way he captures:

20...Kxf8 21.Nxd7+


20...Rxf8 21. Qxe5.

Problem 3 - White To Play

20170722 - Problem 3.jpg
3r2k1/5p1p/2p3p1/p7/1pP5/1P2nQPP/P2q2B1/5R1K w - - 0 1

1. Qxf7+ Kh8
2. Qf6+ Kg8
3. Bd5+ Qxd5+

What? Why give up the queen? Because, actually, it's the best move available. All other moves lead to mate:

3...cxd5 4.Qxd8+ Kg7 5.Qf8# or
3...Nxd5 4.Qxd8+ Kg7 5.Qf8# or
3...Rxd5 4.Qf7+ Kh8 5.Qf8#

After White takes the black queen, he obviously has a won game, but there's an interesting position that comes up later on that I think is fun to look at:

4.cxd5 Nxf1
5.Qxd8+ Kf7
6.Qd7+ Kf8
7.Qd6+ Kf7
8.dxc6 Nxg3+

White was threatening Qf4+, simultaneously attacking the knight. But there's really no safe square for it to go to:

8...Nd2 9.Qf4+
8...Ne3 9.Qf4+ Nf5 10.g4

9. Qxg3 Ke6
10.Qg4+ Kd6
11.Qd7+ and wins

It was amazing to see Black lose all of his pieces in just a few moves.

Problem 4 - White To Play

20170722 - Problem 4.jpg
r1b2qrk/pp3p1p/4pPpQ/8/8/5N2/P4PPP/3R2KR w - - 0 1

1. Ng5!

Threatens Qxh7#


Not 1...Qxh6 2.Nxf7#

2. Rd8 e5 (if 2...Bd7 then 3. Qxg7#)

Also possible is 2.fxg7+ which we will deal with presently.

3.Rxf8+ Rg8

Another way to mate in 4 is:

2.fxg7+ Qxg7
3.Rd8+ Qf8
4.Qxh7# (or 4.Rxf8#)

Endgame of the Week

20170722- Endgame.jpg
2k5/3N4/8/8/8/7B/8/3b1K2 w - - 0 1


White's strategy is to attack the bishop again and again until it has no safe square to move to.

1.Ke1! Bc2

This is the only safe square. All others allow White to grab the bishop with discovered check:

1...Bf3 2.Ne5+ or
1...Bh5 2.Nf6+ or
1...Bb3 2.Nc5+ or
1...Ba4 2.Nb6+

2. Kd2 Bb1

Black still has the same problem. Here are just two examples:

2...Bh7 3.Nf6+ or
2...Ba4 3.Nb6+

3.Kc1 Ba2
4.Kb2 Bf7

Black finally runs out of squares to move his bishop.


And now, White has to complete the fiendish K+B+N vs. K mate. Difficult, but doable. It's amazing how that knight just dominated the entire board.

Hope to see you all next week!


Note: that cryptic line of letters and numbers you see underneath each board diagram is a representation of the position in what is known as "Forsyth-Edwards Notation", or F.E.N. It's actually readable by humans. Most computer applications nowadays can read FEN, so those of you who may want to study the position, you can copy the line of FEN and paste into your chess app and it should automatically recreate the position on its display board. Or, Windows users can just "triple click" on it and the entire line will be highlighted so you can copy and past it into your chess app.


So that about wraps it up for this week. Chess thread tips, suggestions, bribes, rumors, threats, and insults may be sent to my yahoo address: OregonMuse little-a-in-a-circle yahoo dott com.

digg this
posted by OregonMuse at 05:00 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Hadrian the Seventh: " [i]NEW: Congressman Greg Steube, Congressman Tro ..."

redridinghood: "Trump wouldn't be a good SoH...attention to detail ..."

gp's Chocolate Covered Ballot Drops: "298 When I'm the only person in the waiting room, ..."

Trump poisoned my cat: "294 If they make Trump speaker I will have to chan ..."

Robert: "What I read was that Anne had normal, teenage-girl ..."

Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden: "[i]My brain is rotting as I wait on my dental appo ..."

rhennigantx: "Basketball Jones > Mondaire Jones Posted by: Spon ..."

Quarter Twenty : "Newt. Sigh. Hannity. Sigh. So uninspiring. ..."

Slowly, then Suddenly: "[i]They know full well what the Democrats are beca ..."

fd: "If they make Trump speaker I will have to change m ..."

GL: "Betsy McCaughey:"Biden’s censorship and the ..."

Mr Aspirin Factory: "275 203 As soon as the world moves off the US doll ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64