Open Thread | Main | The Morning Report 5/11/17
May 10, 2017

W.O.N.T Edition (5/10/17)

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(I'm so glad to be here!!! Hope you are too!!)


Quotes of The Day

Quote I

The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing. Will Rogers


Quote II

When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a temporary fool of him besides, what excuse are you going to offer for preaching it, teaching it, extending it, perpetuating it? Shall you say, the best good of the country demands allegiance to party? Shall you also say it demands that a man kick his truth and his conscience into the gutter, and become a mouthing lunatic, besides? Mark Twain

Quote III

School teachers, taking them by and large, are probably the most ignorant and stupid class of men in the whole group of mental workers. H.L Mencken


Need more quotes? Bad Ass Last Words


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Are you planning on a trip to Slovakia? Will you be biking in Slovakia? Be careful on that bike. Lions and tigers and bears oh my.

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Men >Women. Let's check out Paul Joseph Watson.

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Need a chuckle. Check out these Fails.

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Somethings just can't be unseen or unheard. The ONT warns you this is one of those. Shut up you Fat Little F*ck. Looks like he needs a little redistribution on the Hostess Ho-Hos.


Our country is F*cked Doomed isn't it?

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Before satellites, before drones, The original eye in the sky.

As the moon hung high in the morning Cincinnati sky, an eccentric aeronaut blasts one last puff of coal gas into his balloon, the "Enterprise." It is April 20, 1861, and just eight days earlier the first shots had rang out at Fort Sumter and ignited the Civil War, a conflict that would eventually claim nearly 625,000 American lives. But on this day, dressed in a fancy silk hat and a black long frock coat, Prof. Thaddeus Lowe prepares for his latest and most important test flight. He knew that a divided Union would need him—and his balloon.


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Morons can be found world wide. They come in all different sizes and ages. In Sweden, Morons start young.

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11 dogs that are incredibly klutzy.

Animals are just like people. When it comes to being coordinated, some just didn't inherit the athletic gene. But if these great pets didn't make the flyball championship team or get teased at the dog park — so what? They have amazing personalities and really, isn't it just about how hard you try?

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When you think of Dildo and Climax what do you think of? Get your mind out of the gutter you Morons.


The ONT Musical Interlude


May 10, 1969, Frank Sinatra's version of 'My Way' made the British Top ten for the first time. Over the next three years it re-entered the Top 50 singles chart on eight different occasions. Paul Anka re-wrote the original French song for Sinatra, after he told Anka he was quitting the music business. Anka changed the melodic structure and lyrics to the song with Sinatra in mind. via thisdayinmusic.com

***


May 10, 1960, Born on this day, Paul Hewson, (Bono), vocals, guitar, U2, (1984 UK No.3 single 'Pride, In The Name Of Love' plus over 25 other UK Top singles, 1987 UK and worldwide No.1 album The Joshua Tree spent 156 weeks on the UK chart. Scored five consecutive US No.1 albums from 1987.) via thisdayinmusic.com


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Our visual science demonstration for the evening. Insurance adjusters hate it. Auto repair shops and roofers love it. Hail. Watch it destroy windshields.

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Functional intimacy, one learns something new everyday. "Can’t touch this: The psychological effects of functional intimacy"

Whether a nurse is prepping you for a shot at the doctor's office or you are being patted down at the airport before catching a flight, functionally intimate situations are often unavoidable. While being touched in these professional settings might be necessary for your health or safety, the sensation of being touched by a stranger is obviously very different than being touched by a lover or friend.

How do people react when in these situations of unavoidable functional intimacy?

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We discuss Valu-Rite. We jokingly laugh and say "Here, hold my beer!" But not everyone is wired to drink. 10 questions you would like to ask a recovering alcoholic.

Alcohol is all fun and games until it's not anymore. It's clear that heavy drinking damages your insides—and possibly some relationships and bar stools. But much more can be destroyed when people start to become dependent on alcohol—which the NHS estimates in the UK is about 9 percent of men and 4 percent of women.


One could say A.A. is for quitters.

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Since we are discussing alcohol, this next story, falls under the category of Better late than never. Gin is recalled. A little too much alcohol. h/t ibguy

Canada is experiencing a nation-wide recall of Bombay Sapphire London Dry Gin. The pull comes from the Canadian Food Inspection Agency after it was discovered that bottles had much more alcohol than advertised.

A fitting song for the situation at hand.


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Fortunately the Anti-Smoking Nazis aren't involved in this art restoration project. Churchill statute to be reunited with his cigar.

The bronze statue of the two famous Second World War leaders sitting on a bench – called simply Allies – was unveiled in Mayfair, central London in 1995 to commemorate 50 years of peace.

The sculpture, with Sir Winston holding a cigar in his left hand, was unveiled by Princess Margaret on May 2, 1995 after being made by sculptor Lawrence Holofcener, who died at the age of 91 last month.

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Before Elizabeth 'Fauxcahontas' Warren, there was Lillian Smith, Faux "Sioux" Sharpshooter.

And then there was Wenona, the Sioux girl.

Wenona, Cummins proclaimed, was not only the “champion rifle shot of the world,” but also the daughter of a chief named Crazy Horse and a white woman, born in a “tepee on the south bank of the Big Cheyenne, near Fort Bennett, Dakota,” and only 18 years old. Cummins offered a $1,000 reward to anyone who could best Wenona with a rifle at the Exhibition. Her extraordinary shooting prowess, he crowed, had been bestowed upon her by supernatural spirits of the Indian world.

In fact, “Wenona” was not a Sioux teen. She was 29-year-old Lillian Frances Smith, the daughter of a white Quaker couple from New England. A former performer in William “Buffalo Bill” Cody’s Wild West show, she had earned the scorn of the legendary Annie Oakley and had been cast aside to make her own way in the world.

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Last week some wag remarked that the best thing about Trump's First Hundred Days is that they weren't Hillary's First Hundred Days. This clip will make you a believer.

Alice Cooper, Schadenboners & Bittersweet Tears. Wonderful. Some shit never gets old.

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I can't imagine living with a big-ass chip on my shoulder. Complaints about cultural misappropriation now Poverty Misappropriation. Want a tiny house? Why your guilty of being a poverty misappropriater.

. How many folks, I wonder, who have engaged in the Tiny House Movement have ever actually lived in a tiny, mobile place? Because what those who can afford homes call “living light,” poor folks call “gratitude for what we’ve got.”

And it’s not just the Tiny House Movement that incites my discontent. From dumpster diving to trailer-themed bars to haute cuisine in the form of poor-household staples, it’s become trendy for those with money to appropriate the poverty lifestyle — and it troubles me for one simple reason. Choice.


Choice? The ONT is so confused. We thought Choice was good. Only when the "Precious, Gifted & Our Betters tell us when "choice" is good or bad. A Moron needs a score card to keep track.


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Steal, file false police report? Genius Award Winner.


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Just when you thought people didn't care anymore. Tonight's Feel Good Story of The Day.

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Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by A Better Pain Chart.

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Notice: Posted with permission by AceCorp, LLC. There is no refund with admittance.

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posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:50 PM

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