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March 17, 2016

They're Making an Indiana Jones 5, With Harrison Ford. Does Anyone Care?

Ford will be 75 when he films the role, which is definitely a lot older than we're used to seeing action-adventure heroes. Maybe they'll bring back his son (hopefully with someone else cast in the role) to do the more actioney stuff, while Indiana himself mostly just thinks clever things and shoots unarmed men.

I wonder what the time period would be. Assuming Indiana Jones was born around 1902 or so (wasn't he like 15 during WWI or something?), and assuming, maybe wrongly, they'll make Indiana Jones nearly 75 himself (can't make him too much younger), I guess this would be set in the late sixties, early seventies? Kind of the Austin Powers period, or just past Peak Bond.

One idea I had is that they could have Indiana Jones' son in the movie just to establish his son his himself about to become a father. Like they show his wife pregnant, and maybe delivering a son (or daughter, or twins) at the end.

Why do that? Well then they could just make Indiana Jones 6, this time with Indiana Jones' grandson, who, despite having a different first name, has taken on the "Indiana" nickname from his famous grandfather. And then you could have Chris Pratt as Indiana Jones in the present day, continuity intact -- he's Indiana Jones, but a different one, a descendant with the same Indiana Jones name. You get to keep the important Indiana Jones branding and trademark.

That occurred to me, but I wonder: Is there any real Indiana Jones movie outside the great period of 19233-1940? Take away all that great stuff from the period -- the great vehicles, the fashions, the cool machineguns, the somewhat fairy-talish once-upon-a-time distance from our own age where you can kind of claim Magic Is a Real Thing and not look too silly doing so, and of course the Nazis -- and is Indiana Jones really all that interesting a character?

What could a modern-day Indiana Jones even do? There's so much Political Correctness that I don't think that Indiana Jones could even traipse through the mythology of a non-white people without being accused of Racism and Cultural Appropriation.

I know one thing: You're definitely not going to see Indiana Jones go to Palmyra, Syria, to save a cultural artifact from dynamite-demolition by ISIS fighters.

Which is something we actually need a real Indiana Jones to do.

You have modern day Nazis -- but of course Indiana Jones can't fight those people. That would be demonizing them, and provoking backlash.

Of Course... Any Indiana Jones movie must fix the enormous problems of the atrocious Indiana Jones 4, and no, the "nuke the fridge" part is not one of those problems. That's a minor thing. He's done silly crap like that before.

The real problem, as Plinkett points out, is that the movie was nothing but fakery and pussified, kid-friendly non-violent violence.

The grit of the originals was important. The originals had a lighthearted view of killing people. Not exactly what you'd like to see in the average citizens' moral code, but a good character trait for an adventurish rogue.

Indiana 4 was basically the Apple Dumpling Gang with occasional whip and monkeys.

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posted by Ace at 01:43 PM

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