A Pre-Debate Prayer: Oh God Please Let Marco Rubio Embarrass Himself Horribly

O Lord,
You are all knowing and wise.

So you know how annoying Marco Rubio is,
and his followers,

who are naught but silly things.

Dear Lord, please let Marco Rubio bomb,
I mean really throw up all over himself,
I mean really, and I hope you'll forgive this language,
please let him really shit the bed,
because I cannot take his followers
tap-tap-typing about Marco Rubio
every single second of every single day
on Twitter.

O God, I know they annoy You.
I know You are as tired of their crap as I am.
You've sent me Signs telling me of such.
And You have comforted me
and given me sooth
when their nonstop numbskull agitations for Rubio
get to be so much
that I just can't even
and I want to just hang myself in the garage.

Please O God
Make Rubio even more annoying and callow tonight
than usual
Make him talk about blowing up every single country that's pitched to him
like he's a bidder at a War Auction
who's afraid to let a single lot go.

Please make him do poorly
so we can all have some peace
and be spared
the constant natterings
and yammerings
and blatherings
of Rubio's cult
which must annoy You
because seriously, they seem to think he's like a lesser god.

Thank You, O Lord.
I know You will do this for me
because You dig me
and because You don't like Rubio.
How could you?
He's so doughy now.

Amen.

posted by Ace at 08:59 PM

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