The Sun King Obama's Glorious Security System Has Worked Beyond The Wildest Dreams of the Party Central Committee

Rejoice, Citizens! Another triumph by his Inestimable Magnificence!

Infidelity. Sexual fetishes. Drug abuse. Crushing debt. They're the most intimate secrets of U.S. government workers. And now they'e in the hands of foreign hackers. It was already being described as the worst hack of the U.S. government in history. And it just got much worse.

A senior U.S. official has confirmed that foreign hackers compromised the intimate personal details of an untold number of government workers. Likely included in the hackers' haul: information about workers' sexual partners, drug and alcohol abuse, debts, gambling compulsions, marital troubles, and any criminal activity.

Those details, which are now presumed to be in the hands of Chinese spies, are found in the so-called "adjudication information" that U.S. investigators compile on government employees and contractors who are applying for security clearances. The exposure suggests that the massive computer breach at the Office of Personnel Management is more significant and potentially damaging to national security than officials have previously said.

This is a polite way to say "Obama's lying, as usual." But they won't say that about Obama.

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The [SF-86] exam can be extraordinarily intimate, bordering on humiliating. One former official said a polygrapher once him asked if he'd ever practiced bestality. And now that information is apparently in the hands of foreign spies.

The Party Central Committee was so overjoyed by this latest triumph of the Grand Overlord that it has declared that there will be three Obamadays this month, instead of the customary one.

posted by Ace at 03:08 PM

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