Your Japanese Schoolgirl Waifu Is At A Better Game Tradeshow

E3 was this past week. It...it was crap.

Also, I refuse to believe that this is the same VR Japanese schoolgirl waifu sim I was promised last year

For the curious, this was what was the first clip

Like always, the the E3 post here is just a small part of what was there and shown so don't take this as anything comprehensive

"Please fund our console exclusive game" said the multi billion dollar media conglomerate #4TheGamers

Welp. At Sony's press conference, they announced Shenmue III.....Kickstarter with a $2m goal. In a span of 24 hours, Sony said they have nothing to do with this project (obvious lie as you don't do that on stage without a finger in the pie while it's only being on PS4 & PC) to after it hitting that goal, basically stating that they're totally going to fund this shit. And then on Thursday, they said that they're just doing marketing for the game and Yu Suzuki said he's hoping that he's hoping to get most of the money from individual backers on Kickstarter. So what is Sony's actual involvement? Considering they can't keep their story straight, it's anyone's guess. But if they're being honest and marketing is in fact all they're doing, to have console exclusivity is death knell for them raising the most they can. When your begging, it's a horrible move to limit the amount of people your begging from.
And that's even touching the actual Kickstarter campaign where the page is bare bones without a hint of where or how much outside money is coming and Suzuki is straight up denying to answer any questions that should be asked when someone begging for money. All he have to go on is for $2m, he can create the story or $5m for a couple gameplay elements or $10m to create the game he wants. Of course that sense of budget scale is a bit spooky when trying to crowd fund something. And as for the game, it's obvious that it's not even out of the design document stage with only 3D character models to show off. And he seems to think he can get it done by the end of 2017 which isn't going to happen even on a conservative estimate considering what they've shown off unless they go the visual novel route.

I honestly can't think of a worst run Kickstarter that has prominence. In 24 hours, they may have hit just over $2m but the KS has died on the vine with limping along to $3.5m.

I'll do Sony first since I'm talking about them. Their presser amounted to 'I hope you buy our system next year" as other than Uncharted Collection (with no multiplayer outside of a U4 beta), they don't have shit. It was always assumed that they would at least have No Man's Sky but with the way they dodged any actual time frame outside of the nebulous "PS4 & PC is day and date release" it kinda makes you wonder if the game is actually coming or not this year. I said it before but I wouldn't be surprised if it releases when ever the Rift and Morpheus comes out.

As expected with Sony picking up marketing rights to the Call of Duty series, they announced that they have a 30 day exclusivity on it's DLC. Microsoft started it last gen, Sony grabbing it this gen. Personally I didn't care then and I don't care now, it's the cost of making a game these days.

Well, they re-announced The Last Guardian and well, it looks exactly the same it did 6 years ago. They can say they moved it to the PS4 in 2012 but it sure as hell still looks like a PS3 game. Though it's not coming out till next year, it kinda feels like they're just shitting it out the door just to be done with it.

They finally showed off the long rumored Horizon, the new game by Guerrilla Games. It actually looks cool and I really dig the art but it's by Guerrilla Games tackling the ARPG genre which they've never done before. It's been 12 years since they released their first game and none of them have been any good. Outside of a really bad Nam shooter, they're whole history is ripping off Mamoru Oshii's designs wholesale and smashing them into a bad WWII in space. Not saying they're not good technically (though their last game, Shadow Fall was bad) but it's been long enough time to say that they don't know how to make an actual game that is any good (BACK OFF KZ2 FANS!! MISSIONS WERE CRAP AND THE MAPS WENT NO WHERE). When it's this and Last Guardian as your holiday exclusives next year, it doesn't exactly excite me.

Speaking of devs who don't know how to make a game, Media Molecule showed off their new thing "Dreams". Ummm it looks pretty.

And they brought Square up on stage to announce that they're remaking Final Fantasy VII. I remember them saying that if they ever remade this game, it's a sign that they're really bad off. They did show off a CG trailer but nothing that really makes you think it will be out in the next few years. At least people can now shut up about wanting this game be remade and hopefully turn their focus on a non piece of shit game to be remade (be honest with yourself and admit that only 1 & 13 are worse mainline Final Fantasy games).

And then of course you got Uncharted 4. After 3, I really can't say I want more Uncharted but they're going to give it to people no matter what. I was actually interested in what they were doing with U4 before they rebooted it. It was at least doing something interesting instead of doing what we've played 3 times before.

FINAL THOUGHT:
Considering the way people sperged last year about how MS announced stuff but didn't show anything, people have been awfully quiet about Sony showing a bunch of stuff that is 2 - 3 years out. They sure as hell didn't make a case for buying a console till next Christmas at the earliest. And outside of Dreams, they have completely abandoned trying to get the masses to buy their console. They've relegated themselves to trying to consolidate the gamers left from last gen.

Well, an idea of an Elite controller was leaked a few weeks ago but no one know what it could have meant. Don't think anyone was expecting them to toe their way into Scuf's controller turf but yet here they are. It's cheaper than the custom controllers from Scuf but it's not as customizable. Still for being about $50 cheaper, it's not a bad option.

They showed off Halo 5 and yep, it looks like Halo though the ability issuing commands to your AI teammates reminds me of Republic Commando which makes me happy

So they're releasing a collection of 30 games from Rare in August for $30. The collection of games are pretty meh IMO. You could cut the list in half and you wouldn't really be missing anything of significance. I do wish they could have worked out deals for some of Rare's licensed work as I would have dugged having the WWF games, Ken Griffey Jr's Winning Run & their Nightmare on Elm Street game. The lack of the Wizards & Warriors series is disappointing.

For all of Phil Spencer's preening that Rare was working on a typical Rare game, I don't think anyone was expecting a pirate themed MMO named Sea of Thieves even if it is them dusting off an old concept named Project Dream that ran into dev issues in the 90's and was subsequently turned into Banjo-Kazooie

If you missed out playing Gears of War on the PC, they're releasing it on the XBO in August. Downside is that the game has had a color correction making it a little colorful

So someone is giving Armature Studio (ex-Retro people who did that awful Batman Blackgate game) another chance before they become a straight port house. Considering they only showed off a CG trailer that tells you absolutely nothing about the game, who knows if they can make a competent game. As for why comcept and Keiji Inafune are attached, no clue as this is a game Armature has tried for a few years now to get someone to fund it. And it's not like Inafune actually does anything in over a decade.

Another year, another Forza game. For the two main new additions, night racing looks good but the weather looks bleh

In an odd move, MS announced that they're bringing backwards compatibility to the XBO by the way of an interesting move. Instead of tweaking the game code, they are being run in an emulated 360 OS. It's beta as in actual beta software but outside of a few weird quirks (vsync tanking Mass Effect's FPS and Perfect Dark being down sampled from 1080p to 720p and then being up sampled back up to 1080p) it's not that bad. Will be interesting to see when it's out of preview. That being said, I hope that unless this is coming to the PC, they're not spending too much resources on this. Even though it's nice to play XBLA games again, the stats always show that no one really cares about the feature.

FINAL THOUGHT:
The "we have so much to announce that we're splitting it in half with Gamescom" hoopla is either bunk or they turned one decent press conference into two crappy ones. And unlike Sony who is trying to consolidate all gamers to the PS4, Spencer is trying to stop the bleeding of people jumping ship and it's inevitable that it's not going to do a damn thing. Who ever promoted Spencer to head of Xbox made a horrible mistake and they're seemingly not going to bail him out. Some one with no vision and no idea on how to sell to consumers is a horrible person to head a division. When you listen to internet warriors, this is the type of floundering you get.

Want to know how to tell when a "press conference" is going horribly? It's when the CEO of the company is apologizing for how bad it is even before the thing is over with.

To be fair, it's the end of life period for the Wii U and 3DS and it obviously shows with what they announced. What you don't want is what they're making. No one asked for an Animal Crossing themed Mario Party nor an Animal Crossing house decorator. People weren't begging for a sequel to Zelda Four Swords sequel. And you can take a multiplayer version of Metroid Hunters and stick it where the moon don't shine. And Starfox Zero? It's supposed to be out this Christmas but when watching it, it sure as hell doesn't feel like it.

And for every Mario Maker (which looks cool)

You get SMTxFE looking like ass

On a positive note, at least we're getting Fatal Frame 5 (I really wish someone other than Nintendo owned the IP)

FINAL THOUGHT:
Shouldn't be a shock but Iwata continues to be the anchor around Nintendo's neck. Sure, Wii was a lightning in a bottle which he then fumbled massively after the first few years but everything else he's been behind have been Nintendo's worse years. He's been there for 14 years, it's long past time for a change. There is only so many Nintendo fans left to milk dry.

• Not dumb enough to pre-order or buy a DICE game at launch but Star Wars Battlefront looks really good

• They really know how to make a trailer for Dark Souls

• For all the pre-hype about the game being "fast" it's pretty slow, I really hope the the small areas in this trailer isn't indicative of there not being any open spaces. Also, WTF with the enemy count

• Nope, not interested in an Assassin's Creed game in this period

• This is probably my favorite trailer of E3. Too bad the end game content still sucks

Batman: The Horse is Dead: Arkham Knight (PC, PS4 & XBO) - It's the sixth Batman game in 6 years, you know what you're getting with this game. Not like they plat differently from each other.

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posted by Gang of Gaming Morons! at 03:08 PM

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