FAQ: Ace, You've Done a Good Job This Week. You Should Knock Off Early. Question Mark...?

Answer: Why, thank you! Thank you so much! I'll do just that!

You kids don't do anything I wouldn't do.

You should know the list of things I wouldn't do is quite extensive. Not because I'm a prude. But because I'm lazy as f***. I'm nearly as lazy as our President.

Nearly. I actually work a five-day week.

But I do wish to thank you for letting me knock off early, even if you didn't choose to do so voluntarily.

It's always an honor to write for you, It's important for rarefied intellects such as mine to sometimes lower themselves to speak to people like you -- you know, Everyday Americans, the comms (my short hand for "the common").

This helps keep me grounded, and humble. And that in turn helps me shape the brilliant insights which I craft for you from the luminous mindstuffs of my eternal genius.

So, in your own way, you chattering cattle are nearly as important to this site as I am. And I mean that as sincerely as when I tell a child, "That's a wonderful finger-painting. You've really captured the essence of the Sun, the House, and the Triangle-Headed Man With Three Arms. I'm sure your academic career will be as long as state law requires it to be."

But seriously, have a good weekend!

posted by Ace at 05:59 PM

| Access Comments