Holy Mackerel: Creepy Dolls Case Solved -- It Was In Fact a Well-Meaning Would-Be Santa Whose Intentions Were Misunderstood

Wouldn't it be odd, some wondered, if the Creepy Suspected Pedophile Doll-Man turned out to be a well-meaning person who just wanted to give out some nice dolls to some nice neighborhood girls?

Well, that turns out to have been the case, police say.

A well-meaning woman who knows the families and attends church with them thought leaving the dolls would be a kind gesture of friendship.

In a statement Thursday, Hallock added, "Investigators have concluded that [the neighbor's] motivation was out of goodwill and that she intended it as a kind gesture."

He added: "There will be no further investigation of this case."

Awww. Well, you know, this was her problem: She forgot that dolls are inherently creepy.

I honestly do not know why we give them to children. They're nightmare vectors.

I was going to link a video about "female doll masks" there, to prove this, but I decided I didn't want to freak you out too much. If you don't believe me, feel free, search "female doll mask" in videos.

posted by Ace at 03:00 PM

| Access Comments