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July 26, 2014

Holy Mackerel: Creepy Dolls Case Solved -- It Was In Fact a Well-Meaning Would-Be Santa Whose Intentions Were Misunderstood

Wouldn't it be odd, some wondered, if the Creepy Suspected Pedophile Doll-Man turned out to be a well-meaning person who just wanted to give out some nice dolls to some nice neighborhood girls?

Well, that turns out to have been the case, police say.

A well-meaning woman who knows the families and attends church with them thought leaving the dolls would be a kind gesture of friendship.
In a statement Thursday, Hallock added, "Investigators have concluded that [the neighbor's] motivation was out of goodwill and that she intended it as a kind gesture."

He added: "There will be no further investigation of this case."

Awww. Well, you know, this was her problem: She forgot that dolls are inherently creepy.

I honestly do not know why we give them to children. They're nightmare vectors.

I was going to link a video about "female doll masks" there, to prove this, but I decided I didn't want to freak you out too much. If you don't believe me, feel free, search "female doll mask" in videos.

posted by Ace at 03:00 PM

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A well-meaning woman who knows the families and attends church with them thought leaving the dolls would be a kind gesture of friendship. In a statement Thursday, Hallock added, "Investigators have concluded that [the neighbor's] motivation was out of goodwill and that she intended it as a kind gesture." He added: "There will be no further investigation of this case." Awww. Well, you know, this was her problem: She forgot that dolls are inherently creepy. I honestly do not know why we give them to children. They're nightmare vectors. I was going to link a video about "female doll masks" there, to prove this, but I decided I didn't want to freak you out too much. If you don't believe me, feel free, search "female doll mask" in videos. posted by Ace at 03:00 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments Anonosaurus Rex, Now Is the Winter of Our Discontent Made Glorious Summer By This Son of [New] York: "The first income tax was under Lincoln. Posted by ..." Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ : "@MarioNawfal 29m ICE REPORTS 1,179 ARRESTS IN ..." WitchDoktor: "Trump has been talking about getting rid of the in ..." 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