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January 28, 2014

Greg Gutfeld's Dangerous State of Inebriation State of the Union Drinking Game

Gutfeld wants you to die. Like most Republicans, I guess.

Text below, but it's better to watch -- video after the jump. He announces the rules of the game with a desperate weariness that sells the bit.

“Every time he says ‘folks,’ drink. Every time he says ‘fair share,’ drink. Every time he says ‘extraordinary,’ drink. Every time he brags about working tirelessly, drink. When he frets about lack of compromise, drink. If he says, ‘Bring me a bill, and I’ll sign it,’ drink. When he brings up the middle class, the people he’s ruining, drink. Every time he says, ‘It’s the right thing to do,’ drink. Every time he cites someone that his policies have helped, drink. If she’s in the audience, drink some more. Every time he says, ‘I never said it would be easy,’ drink. If he says that after mentioning ObamaCare, drink again. If he says ObamaCare’s rough start was worth it, drink. And every time he reminds us that running a country is really hard, say, ‘Yeah, we can tell,’ and drink … Finally, each time you feel like you’re being screwed, drink. And if you still buy anything from this gas bag, then you deserve the world’s worst hangover, and enjoy it, ‘cause you built that.”

Tonight we're going to just have an Open Thread on the SOTU. I and the cobs discussed doing a live blog, and the consensus was that basically, TFG isn't worth that much of anyone's time. It will be an hour and a half of complete bullshit, and after the first twenty long minutes, saying "bullshit" to everything just becomes lifeless, predictable, and mechanical, like Obama's speechifying itself.

And what's more: This will be the same SOTU he's given now four (or is it five?) times before, except with a little more emphasis on income inequality and some more threats to act unconstitutionally.

If I watch, I'll comment. But I'll probably check out after twenty minutes.


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posted by Ace at 01:10 PM

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