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January 14, 2014

The Odd-Duck-Looking President of France Is Nailing a Cute Actress

This guy:


Is tapping this ass:


She's an actress named Julie Gayet.

François Hollande isn't married, so he's not committing adultery. But he does have a longtime girlfriend, Valèrie Trierweiler, who occupies the position of First Lady. There is a complication here, as Trierweiler has a private office at the state-owned Elysee Palace, and a personal staff paid for by the state.

So... like, what happens if the President of France breaks up with her? Apparently there is nothing in the law about this.

For her part, Trierweiler wants her position clarified.

Hollande gave a press conference today. He was asked if Trierweiler was still like France's First Girlfriend, or, like what dude?

He ducked the question:

"Everyone can go through turbulent times in their private life. It's our case; they are tough moments. But I have one principle: private affaires should be dealt with privately."

Trierweiler is in the hospital now, recovering from grief or something.

This isn't the first Weird French Socialist Girlfriend thing to Hollande's credit. He previously... dated the Socialist politician Segolene Royal, and had four children with her while he was... dating. But anyway, he dumped her like a sack of yesterday's mons junk for Valerie Trierweiler.

And there was a mini-scandal during the French elections when Valerie Trierweiler tweeted her support of Royal's political opponent, and that tweet seemed to spark the opponent's actual victory (and Royal's loss).

Miaou, Madame!

Both of them are also way out of this Penguin-looking dude's league too:


But I guess he wanted the newer model.

Here's the kicker: His polling is going up... among women. His polls had been in the crapper for years because France is, well, France is France, and the only thing rising faster than its unemployment is its deficit, but now he's arranging secret rendez-vous with much-younger actresses and French women are all like, Oh là là, que chaud!

That proves the premise of 1/3rd of all teenager movies of the 80s: If you can just get one cute chick to pretend to like you, the rest of the girls really will like you.

In his press conference today -- facing 500-600 reporters -- he never quite said "Yeah I'm tapping that" but at no point did he deny it.

So that's what's going on there.

Oh! I forgot. The tabloids are chattering about Obama Marital Problems.

So, Hollande is visting Obama in America on February 11th. Right around Valentine's Day, I guess.

And oh.. There are more rumors still.

More: Trierweiler says she'll forgive Hollande if he just keeps her as First Lady. Apparently she's looking forward to the trip to meet Obama in America, and will be "devastated" if he doesn't bring her.

Apparently a lot of people in France are savoring Trierweiler's downfall. They think she's getting her comeuppance, for stealing... this weird-looking guy away from Segolene Royale.

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posted by Ace at 07:11 PM

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