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September 13, 2013

The Daily Mail Just Can't Stop Putting Women Up To Writing Troll Pieces: Woman Claims She Can't Get Dates Only Because She's too Brainy and Witty

Yeah, you sort of know what this picture is going to look like, right?

Okay, so this column is fake, again, right? Just like the sub-meh non-MILF who claimed to be just so damn pretty she inspired jealousy, or the model who claims she looks "too young," at age 50, to get modeling work, this is a woman who is not really terribly appealing proclaiming, supposedly, that it's only her brain and her witty repartee that keeps her from landing a husband.

Fake. Silly.

But whatever.

Three months ago I went to Italy with my then boyfriend, Philip. As we were checking into the hotel, I struck up a conversation with the receptionist in Italian (just one of the five languages I speak). But while I was enjoying myself, chatting away, it became clear that Philip most certainly was not.

He shuffled from foot to foot, muttered something under his breath and rolled his eyes like a stroppy teenager.

Then in the lift he turned on me. 'I was wondering when you were going to let me join your conversation,' he snapped. I tried to laugh it off but I knew this was the beginning of yet another argument.

'You always have to be the star of the show,' he continued in our bedroom, as he began to systematically work his way through the mini-bar. Apparently I was argumentative, a know-all and an intellectual snob.

What had I done? It should be depressingly obvious. I had dared to dent his fragile male ego.

By speaking in a language Philip didn't know, I had managed to make him - a successful writer, ten years my senior - feel small. How selfish of me to embarrass him in public with my linguistic prowess!

Okay, whatever Daily Mail. Whatever.

I've seen more plausible letters from readers in Penthouse.

Dear Daily Mail,

I am a student at a Large Northeastern University. I always though these letters were fake, until one day, my boyfriend left me because I was too smart, and also too beautiful, and also too young-looking.

Signed,

Helen Thomas

PS: He also said I was too fair-minded as regards the ckufing Jews.

via Dump and Doom, @benk84 and @AOSHQDOOM, aka Monty.


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posted by Ace at 05:52 PM

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