Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!





Recent Entries
The "White Knighting Chronicles" or "Squares trying to more Square" or gaming thread | Main | Gun Thread 3/31/2013
March 31, 2013

An Honorary Moron (via See-Dub)

Back in 2010 I sent in an email naming James Madison an honorary Moron, which you kindly posted here and attributed to a semi-anonymous retired blogger:

Today I would like to nominate another Great Moron of History: J.S. Bach.

Oh, sure, everyone thinks he was a frumpy old Lutheran who wrote motets, but I would direct the Moron Horde's attention to possibly one of the greatest pieces of Moron music until Paul Anka gave the cutoffs on My Way: Bach's Peasant Cantata, BWV 212.


So picture this-- Bach's patron Picander gets a new boss and commissions Bach to set an off-color peasant song about him. First, writing an off-color song about your new boss is grounds for honorary Moronitude right there. Submitting it to J.S. Freakin' Bach to set it to music? That's evil genius. "Is this song making fun of me?" "Sir, J.S. bach would never do that." "Oh, all right then."

So Bach did, and basically it is a wonderful piece of music about sex, rump-shaking, beer-drinking, and (most importantly for Moronity) complaining about high taxes.

Yes, this is Johann Sebastian Bach. I'm serious. Here's how he starts it out:

2. Aria

We've got a brand-new governor
In this our Chamberlain.
He gives us beer to warm the heart,
That is the kernel plain.
The Rev' may ever angry be,
Ye players, ready for the fling!
Already Molly's skirt shakes, see,
The wanton little thing.

(Bach knew a little bit about wanton little things, having fathered TWENTY children by two wives. I don't know how Mack Daddy Bach got any work done. He must have had a harpsichord right there in the boudoir.)

Anyway, after some further Naughty-Peasant back and forth, including a discussion of "buzzing in the britches", they turn to the subject of taxes:

5. Recit. (B)

The Squire is good: but yet that taxman,
He is of sulphur made,
Who like a bolt a dollar's fine hath laid
Before we scarcely even get our fingers wet.

6. Aria (B)

Ah, Sir taxman, be not all too grim,
Nor us wretched peasant people trim!
Easy on our skin;
If our cabbage then
Like the worms you've eaten to the stem,
Have done with them!

It goes on like that; you get the idea...this is Tea Party tax protest music you can sing in church, or at a Civic Event, and unless someone speaks Old Peasant Saxon they won't have any idea you just excoriated high taxes.

Bach's birthday is March 31st. So on the occasion of this, his- oh, three hundred and twenty eighth birthday, I would like to nominate J.S. Bach and his boss Picander to official Moron status and recommend the Peasant Cantata be named the official Cantata of the Ace of Spades Lifestyle.

Don't make a maniac out of me.

digg this
posted by Dave In Texas at 02:09 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
AllenG (Dedicated Tenther), Derringer Bandit.: "[i]Posted by: Costanza Defense at July 31, 2014 04 ..."

J.J. Sefton: " 278 Amazing how it never works in that directio ..."

torquewrench: ""What do you want to bet that, in the Khalidi vide ..."

dananjcon: "Ok..... I'll admit it...... Pat Benatar. Posted ..."

Costanza Defense: "The Interpreter @Interpreter_Mag 16m BREAKING: R ..."

Frumious Bandersnatch: "[I]Marie Osmond was one of the first wimmin to hel ..."

J.J. Sefton: " 269 Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 31, 2014 ..."

AllenG (Dedicated Tenther), Derringer Bandit.: "[i]Pat Benatar. Posted by: Truck Monkey, as Voi ..."

Hrothgar: "Isn't there a Julian Assange or Edward Snowden on ..."

artisanal 'ette: "the "loophole" that was in the bill? it looks l ..."

DaveA[/i][/b][/s]: "[i] I just don't think it would have been as opera ..."

J.J. Sefton: " 264 Whatever it is, those left wing bastards at ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64