Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!



Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups





















« If you're 'irrestible' and female in Iowa, be sure to fug yourself up in the workplace! [laceyunderalls] | Main | Overnight Open Thread (22 Dec 2012) »
December 22, 2012

Bar Etiquette [CharlieBrown'sDildo]

This is sort of a follow-up to Damn Dirty RINO's post about the life of a weekend bartender, but from the perspective on the other side of the bar.

Admittedly, these rules don't apply to all bars. One of my first regular stops when I was tall enough to look over the bar to order a drink was a place that taught me to order my beer, sit down, shut up and listen to the juke box. Anything else would jeopardize my health.

This is tailored to my local joint in the suburbs, so some of the behavior just doesn't exist in other places.


In no particular order:

1. Don’t nurse one drink for 45 minutes. It’s rude to the people who want to…you know…drink at the bar, and it cuts into the income of the bartenders.

2. Your shopping bag or briefcase is not deserving of a seat. I am, and if you don’t move the bag I am going to say something rude.

3. Spreading out so that you have plenty of leg room and can look at your drinking buddy may be fun, but it takes up two spots at the bar that can be used by people who are less self-centered than you are.

4. Nobody — and I mean literally nobody on earth — wants to hear your phone conversation. If you absolutely must jabber about the new shoes you just bought (the ones in the bag on the chair next to you), go outside.

5. Don’t sit at the bar while pretending to read a book or making entries in your oh-so-precious “life journal”. This isn’t Eat Pray Love. You are wasting a stool and ruining the atmosphere with your pretentiousness. Go to Starbuck’s and write your shitty poetry there.

6. Move over so that the nice couple behind you, politely waiting to sit down together, can sit down…together. You are not the most important person on earth, despite what your therapist says.

7. If you lay your arm across mine to waggle a fistful of cash at the bartender, I am going to be very tempted to knock your teeth down your throat (I won’t, but I will say something). Don’t touch me unless you are Brooklyn Decker or Kelly Brook[NSFW].

There are many more, but these are the big ones in my book. Feel free to add to the list or embellish mine.

digg this
posted by Open Blogger at 07:25 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Oldcat: "If Harris can stop storms, she could start with th ..."

Northernlurker , wondering where his phone is : "Why can't these storms ever take out a Hamas demon ..."

Deplorable Jay Guevara[/i][/s][/b]: "Can you be a thought leader without thought follow ..."

The Weather Channel: "[i]Milton might be the most devastating hurricane ..."

"Perfessor" Squirrel: "Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson: Forcing governments ..."

Tamaa the Drongo Bird: "One or two Lumps? ..."

My Sweet Lord: "The histrionic language will backfire if this stor ..."

Deplorable Jay Guevara[/i][/s][/b]: ""Thought leaders" look down on "Infuencers". Post ..."

Erebus- ex-killer whale: "I came. I saw. I derped. ..."

Bertram Cabot, Jr.: "There is no high ground in Florida. ..."

TheJamesMadison, terrorizing teenagers with Michael Myers: "Message to Floridians on the coast: seek higher gr ..."

Erebus- ex-killer whale: "Noooood ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64