Turkeys, Sensing Weakness, Few Guns, Move to Take Over Brookline, MA

They're attacking people in the streets. Attacking cars. Attacking front doors. People are complaining to the police. The police.

I have an idea: Eat them.

From CBS Boston:

Neighbors are on the offensive in Brookline after what some residents are describing as aggressive turkeys.

“They were attacking the vehicle,” Karen Halvorson said outside her home in the Aspinwall Hill neighborhood.

After getting in her truck, a neighbor came and ran the birds off but it didn’t stop there.

“Then, the turkeys came and started attacking my front door,” she said.

A second run-in came a few weeks ago as she walked nearby.

“I looked back and three of them charged me,” she explained.

She moved to the center of the street to avoid the animals, but it wasn’t enough.

“The turkey flew in my face and scratched my neck,” she said.

Halvorson refuses to give up her walks so she has taken precautions.

“I went down to the hiking store and I got a hiking stick with a big ball on top of it. I walk with it all the time and now I never go without my phone,” she said.

(Emphasis mine.) Is it one of those really big phones from the 80's? The kind that are big enough to clock a turkey upside the head so that you can stick it in your fridge and then serve it later for dinner? If so, good thinking.

Verrier says there are basic things you can do to protect yourself. If you see a turkey, move to the other side of the street. Make noise or spray the turkey with water.

No, spray the turkey with Federal Premium Mag Shok Heavyweight turkey load.

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posted by rdbrewer at 08:45 AM

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