Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!





Recent Entries
« Thanksgiving Morning Open Thread | Main | Khe Sanh Special and Hippies Delight »
November 22, 2012

Turkeys, Sensing Weakness, Few Guns, Move to Take Over Brookline, MA

They're attacking people in the streets. Attacking cars. Attacking front doors. People are complaining to the police. The police.

I have an idea: Eat them.

From CBS Boston:

Neighbors are on the offensive in Brookline after what some residents are describing as aggressive turkeys.

“They were attacking the vehicle,” Karen Halvorson said outside her home in the Aspinwall Hill neighborhood.

After getting in her truck, a neighbor came and ran the birds off but it didn’t stop there.

“Then, the turkeys came and started attacking my front door,” she said.

A second run-in came a few weeks ago as she walked nearby.

“I looked back and three of them charged me,” she explained.

She moved to the center of the street to avoid the animals, but it wasn’t enough.

“The turkey flew in my face and scratched my neck,” she said.

Halvorson refuses to give up her walks so she has taken precautions.

“I went down to the hiking store and I got a hiking stick with a big ball on top of it. I walk with it all the time and now I never go without my phone,” she said.

(Emphasis mine.) Is it one of those really big phones from the 80's? The kind that are big enough to clock a turkey upside the head so that you can stick it in your fridge and then serve it later for dinner? If so, good thinking.


Verrier says there are basic things you can do to protect yourself. If you see a turkey, move to the other side of the street. Make noise or spray the turkey with water.

No, spray the turkey with Federal Premium Mag Shok Heavyweight turkey load.

More from Boston.com.

Follow me on Twitter.

digg this
posted by rdbrewer at 08:45 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
FenelonSpoke: "FenelonSpouse went today as the Produce Pun-Kin f ..."

olddog in mo: "Is Gabe on strike or did someone pee in his Post T ..."

Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing: "[i]Gabi Grecko or Kaci Hicock.... which attention ..."

Village Idiot's Apprentice: ""Just the Punchline: "We're quibbling over the pri ..."

Anna Puma (+SmuD): "Gabi Grecko or Kaci Hicock....   which a ..."

Cheap Michael Kors Clear Acrylic Watch: "Cheap Michael Kors Purses Outlet Online http://ove ..."

FenelonSpoke: "Happy Eve of All Saint's Day: Todays' daily dev ..."

Anna Puma (+SmuD): "What to tell the erstwhile would-be political mast ..."

Stringer Davis: "VIA, would that it were. No matter the venue, they ..."

Village Idiot's Apprentice: "" Will Michelle remember Anthony Brown's name?"He ..."

Anna Puma (+SmuD): "Will Michelle remember Anthony Brown's name? ..."

Village Idiot's Apprentice: ""This part of the political process must be in the ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64