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August 01, 2012


Or so we keep hearing (from each other).

Yesterday, in honor of the news that Harry Reid Is a Pederast, I changed my twitter handle to Harry's Filthy Secret, and invited people to guess my secret:

If you guess my secret, you can draw a prize from my Pocket Full of Mystery.

If you fail to guess my secret, you must place you hand into my other pocket, the Pocket of Shame and Therapy.

Come, sit by me, and unburden yourself of inhibitions. Sit with me on the Couch of Surprises.

Would you care for a refreshment? 5 Alive? Sunny D? I shall instruct my manservant Crichton to fetch you a Juicy Juice.

Crichton is mute and tells no secrets. He does for me admirably. Ah-- the Juicy Juice, c'est arrive. How it shines golden in the light.

ah, dear boy, you there. If I may be so bold to say -- you seem a strapping lad

Ah, the good Crichton has returned with our amuse bouche. Pray, try one. It's a confit of Twinkee and muscle relaxant.

I play many games, Dear Boy. Chess? Ah, an amusing enough pastime. But now I play the most dangerous game of all -- TickleFingers.

There are only two rules to TickleFingers. If you refrain from laughing, you win, and may draw from the Pocket Full of Mystery.

But if you laugh, you lose, and must sit upon the Lap of Growing Danger.

You have done well, boy. Come, let us visit the Medicine Cabinet of Adventure.

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posted by Ace at 11:53 AM

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