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August 30, 2011

Horrible Childhood Open Thread [krakatoa]

I know. We all had to walk 3 miles, in the snow, uphill every day we wanted to go watch pR0n in the library.

We all had to deal with being grounded (if we were lucky!), or suffered corporal punishments that didn't come close to meeting the piddling crime such as tying your sibling(s) to a large dog of questionable social skills.

But you don't have anything on poor Stephen the second, & Kathryn, who, after years of just inhuman acts of parenting were forced to sue their Ogre of a mother.

The alleged offenses include failing to take her daughter to a car show, telling her then 7-year-old son to buckle his seat belt or she would contact police, "haggling" over the amount to spend on party dresses and calling her daughter at midnight to ask that she return home from celebrating homecoming.

One of the most dastardly exhibits filed in the case was a birthday card mother Garrity sent to her son, who now claims:

the card was "inappropriate" and failed to include cash or a check...

...On the front of the American Greetings card is a picture of tomatoes spread across a table that are indistinguishable except for one in the middle with craft-store googly eyes attached.

"Son I got you this Birthday card because itís just like you ... different from all the rest!" the card reads. On the inside Garrity wrote "Have a great day! Love & Hugs, Mom xoxoxo."

xo
xo
x. o.

Your honor, I rest my case.


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posted by Open Blogger at 10:51 AM

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