Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support
Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact
Ace:aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries
Daily Tech News 13 December 2024
All The World's An ONT And We Are Merely Players Dog Days Cafe Democrat Criminal Fundraising Organization ActBlue Allowed Foreigners to Donate To Biden and Kamala Throughout the Past Election Cycle Kerry Picket: Sources Say Christopher Wray is Promoting Regime Loyalists in the FBI to Thwart Trump's Efforts to Reform the Criminal Organization IG Report on January 6th Admits That Fed Agents Entered the Capitol, But Denies That the FBI Urged Them to Commit Illegal Acts or Encourage Others to Commit Illegal Acts Fire Them All: The Democrats' Manueverings Have Granted Trump the Power to Fire Anyone He Wants MSNBC Shrieks at Trump's Promise to End Birthright Citizenship The UK Bans Puberty Blockers for Minors Indefinitely, Citing Unacceptable Risks Time's Person of the Year Is Donald Trump... Obviously Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published.
Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups
|
« Hey, I Don't Want To Cast No Aspersions Or Nothin', But Anthony Weiner May Be Lying |
Main
| Top Headline Comments 6-3-11 »
June 03, 2011
Crisis Communications Team Comes Up With Exciting New Way To Explain The "Bad Fact" AwayOf course, the simplest explanation of the scenario is that he had, in fact, tried to send a picture of his genitals to a 21-year-old Washington state college student. Weiner has denied that in public and in private. Two people who spoke to him privately said he had suggested that, as one said, “he took or sent a photo or photos like this at some point — but in this case actually was hacked/set up, perhaps with a posting of one of his own photos or something very similar.” What am I, drunk on stupid-juice? You've paged through a series of false claims, almost all of which are disproven or can be easily disproven. Yfrog says there was no hack. Twitter says nothing, and for God's sake you are a key legislator writing laws regarding them, so I think they're inclined to support your story. Yet they don't. I hate to keep hammering this point but your lighthearted, casual, #Hacked! demeanor immediately after the "hack" is violently incompatible with the serious and malicious breach you were alleging. For me, that's the game right there. As I say there, the words "I HAVE JUST BEEN CRIMINALLY, MALICIOUSLY VIOLATED!" have never been genuinely followed by "Hey, anyone catch the score of that Bruins game?" This new trial balloon of what, in Nixon's day, was called, um, the "modified limited hangout" -- admit a little, in the hopes that people will incorrectly conclude you're now coming clean -- is preposterous. There is no earthly reason this "innocent explanation" couldn't have been offered on day three. Yes, you could have told everyone "When I was single, I was a bit of rowdy, and I did some things as a single man I'm not happy to acknowledge as a married man." And, if that were true-- fine. Sure, I would have accused you of lying, and comics would have goofed on you, but if it were true, you'd be in no peril. None at all. You'd get some razzing, and some dark muttering from angry bloggers who are convinced that "there's more to this story," but I think I speak for all angry bloggers when I say we do that all the time, anyway, and if it's not your junk we're spinning conspiracy theories about it's something else. No one takes us particularly seriously. If that were true, none of this would be happening. Note what is perhaps the third-most powerful two-letter word in the language there, however -- if. That little word turns all lies into truths. If any of this were true, then you would have been the victim of a serious hacking -- such a serious hacking, in fact, that I personally would not dare to joke about it, myself -- and would be entitled to, and would naturally receive, all the police assistance in the world to track down your hacker. There's not getting around this. Weiner's spinner calls the penis picture "the bad fact." No, the penis picture is the funny fact. The fact that the picture was sent to a 21 year old coed is the alarming fact. Not calling the police? That's the bad fact. I admire the effort to turn the picture into the "bad fact." But here's the actual fact: It's people who are not serious about hanging you who are still looking at that picture. People like TV Clown Jon Stewart, whom naive people are calling "brave" for simply acknowledging that yes, a funny picture of a penis exists, ha-ha-ha, hee-hee-hee. Oh my garsh! Jon Stewart is really telling the truth on this! Oh? About what? That penises are funny and have been since we were three years old? Well, thanks for the insight on that, Jon. You keep on being edgy and brave. No, people who are serious about hanging you aren't looking at your picture. They're looking at your behavior. And your behavior is of a guilty man. Because, if you were telling the truth with this newest version of your claim, then you would be not just a victim, but a sympathetic victim, and a sympathetic victim entitled to all the help in the world in tracking down your violator. And yes, that's the word I'd use. Violator. This would be a clear violation. One that I could sympathize with. So your best move, Representative, is to call the FBI IC3 unit, which could track down your hacker in probably two days, and determine you were hacked in forty five seconds, clearing your name, removing any humiliation from your wife, whom you claim you're "protecting." Not to mention all those poor human shields you say you care so very much about and really can't we just let this go? For their sake? And not only clearing your name, but putting the entire Right Wing in dire jeopardy, because we all know the media loves to take the crimes of one right winger and charge them against a movement of 100 million people. Even when the right winger is not a right winger, but an avowed Communist, like IRS plane-bomber Joseph Stack. So that is your best move, Anthony Weiner. The trouble is -- that's not actually your best move, Representative Weiner, and I'm pretty sure even your most ardent supporters are beginning to understand why that should be. If you were a victim, you'd call the FBI's IC3 unit. You would get the White Glove, Red Carpet, Gold Star treatment. They would be so scrupulously cautious about checking with you regarding each and every file on your computer you'd have no fears of "additional invasion of privacy" or whatever bullshit you'll wind up telling us next. No, you're not siccing the police on the hacker for the real "bad fact" that there is no hacker. And you can trot out these preposterous new trial balloons every day if you like, and I will sit here saying the same goddamned thing, over and over again: Here is the Internet Computer Complaint Center. You can fill out this form and get justice. Of course, as a Representative in the United States Congress, a man in actual Constitutional succession to assume the Presidency should just the right improbable disaster strike, you don't need to fill out that form, and be ignored, like most citizens. You can call -- and this person's number is right on your cell phone, and if you don't have it, ask your wife, former trusted aide to the Secretary of State -- the Attorney General of the United States of America, the boss of all bosses of the FBI. But you're not going to call him. You're not going to call anyone, except your "private security firm" which looks suspiciously like a law firm with some IT guys. So keep on floating these new, improved tales of Violations Imponderable, looking for a miracle story to get you out of a jam. And I will keep on telling you, as Hans Gruber said, "You want a miracle? I give you the F. B. I."
That is the "bad fact." Deal with that. I don't want to hear your next 30 "how about this one?" excuses about this. I want the F.B.I. to hear them. They can determine the truth of the matter readily enough. Stop trying out your exciting new stories on me, and start trying them out on a Special Agent. You think you can backpedal your way into a new story we'll suddenly all buy? No dice. Call the people who can tell false stories from true in five minutes, and then have them report the truth to me.
| Recent Comments
Skip :
"Time to get moving ..."
Warai-otoko : "So the illegals who came to the ER would simply gi ..." JQ: "My cousin got Fk'd by VA, couldn't get needed back ..." JQ: "Gotta suck in more & more peeps, to support the ot ..." Quint: "357, I mentioned illegal aliens for a specific rea ..." JQ: "So... another gubmint Ponzi scheme ..." Warai-otoko : "Healthcare is just like education. You're not r ..." JQ: "You still gotta pay school taxes even if you've ne ..." JQ: "I "elected"--CHOSE-- hysterectomy vs. the several ..." Warai-otoko : "Thanks, obastard... Posted by: JQ at December 13, ..." Warai-otoko : "Illegals aside, i do vaguely remember some insane ..." JQ: "I pay nearly $1100/month, for "health insurance" w ..." Recent Entries
Daily Tech News 13 December 2024
All The World's An ONT And We Are Merely Players Dog Days Cafe Democrat Criminal Fundraising Organization ActBlue Allowed Foreigners to Donate To Biden and Kamala Throughout the Past Election Cycle Kerry Picket: Sources Say Christopher Wray is Promoting Regime Loyalists in the FBI to Thwart Trump's Efforts to Reform the Criminal Organization IG Report on January 6th Admits That Fed Agents Entered the Capitol, But Denies That the FBI Urged Them to Commit Illegal Acts or Encourage Others to Commit Illegal Acts Fire Them All: The Democrats' Manueverings Have Granted Trump the Power to Fire Anyone He Wants MSNBC Shrieks at Trump's Promise to End Birthright Citizenship The UK Bans Puberty Blockers for Minors Indefinitely, Citing Unacceptable Risks Time's Person of the Year Is Donald Trump... Obviously Search
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Primary Document: The Audio
Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer Top Top Tens
Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) |