It Could Be Worse | Main | Overnight Open Thread
December 02, 2010

Lame Duck Congress Passes Ground-Breaking Legislation for Fat Kids and Irritable Television Viewers UPDATED

Urgent, desperately needed legislation headed to the President for signature. Michelle's "Healthy Hunger-Free Kids Act", which freaked out members of the CBC cause it re-tasks funds used for future food stamp benefits, and the "Commercial Advertising Loudness Mitigation" Act (CALM, get it?), directing the FCC to take action with broadcasters to keep those goddam commercials from blaring at you while you duck into the kitchen for a beer.

Truly, the people's work. Take heart America. You may rest assured, there is no issue too trivial for your representatives in DC.

On the former: $4.5BB for the feds to stick their noses even deeper into what kids eat at school. I want to say "please, dear God, would you just shut the hell up about what kids eat already?" but the nanny state will not stand down, will not be silent, and will expand the scope of the federal government at any opportunity, over any matter, no matter what. So I'll just say "oh blow me."

On the latter: Look, I know about the commercial thing, I mean back before I lost half my hearing on the right side. It was annoying, I get it. But really. This? Advertisers are creative and greedy bastards, if you don't think this won't accelerate direct to brain-wave transmission technology now, well, you probably don't understand why Beer=Sex.

(I've seen the ads and that's what beer seems to be, according to the advertisers. Hot chicks, good food and great times. If you're not getting that out of your beer experience, then you're just not doing it right.) Not my fault. Your fault.

Anyway, thanks Congress!

UPDATE: Oh, all right, for the seventeen of you who actually watch the NFL network, this can be your football thread too. (goddangit I forgot tonight's pick)


philadelphia_eagles_cheerleaders_10.jpg

digg this
posted by Dave In Texas at 08:18 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Adriane the Technology Critic ...: "with a stopped clock ... ..."

Soothsayer SLX Pro Series II Platinum Turbo: " UNLESS it's zombie apocolypse. How do The Wa ..."

MAxIE: "362 Being immersed in how these people really are ..."

Adriane the Technology Critic ...: "Counting down to Christmas ... ..."

Country Singer: "The Moron Horde in gif format:https://tinyurl.com/ ..."

Dr. Evil: "Cock ring with lasers, dammit. ..."

irright: "The comic book reading from my childhood wants to ..."

Alberta Oil Peon: "No. Omega Seamaster Posted by: runner at Decem ..."

hogmartin: "I'd be down with a watch thread, TBQH. Wearing a G ..."

Dr. Evil: " I want a cock with lasers! ..."

Grump928(C): "[i]If Masturbating Pete were here, he'd tell you - ..."

Jim[/i][/b][/s][/u]: "[I]Ditto. Wasn't doubting Jim, just the claim. But ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64