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Daily Tech News 2 December 2023
Friday ONT: I Stick It! Dogs Gone Wild Cafe Five Years After the Nasty Race Crime Hoax That Further Divided the Country, Jussie Smollett Is Finally Going to Jail Confessions of the Libs of TikTok Is This Something? Health NEWZZZZ Quick Hits Washington Post "Workers" Brace for Layoffs 89 Republicans Join Democrats to Expel George Santos from Congress; Republicans Also Refuse to Hold Vote to Expel Fire-Alarm-Puller and Insurrectionist Jamaal Bowman Absent Friends
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October 26, 2010
Financial Briefing: Jive Talking[UPDATED] Giant mutual-fund firm Vanguard endorses the party of wealth, priviliege, and disregard for the common man. That's right: they endorse the Democrats (Via CDR M in the comments.). Doomed! Doooomed! DOOOOOOOOMED! I always say this about deflation and inflation: first one, then t'other. Well, guess what? "T'other" is drawing nigh. Which leads to.... Treasury Inflation Protected Securities (TIPS) sell at a negative yield for the first time since the dark days of 2008. Lots of people see inflation looming, and are willing to actually *pay* Uncle Sam to issue them inflation-protected paper. Me? I'll stick to gold, thankyouverymuch. (Or I would, if I could afford to buy any more of it. So silver it is, for the time being.)Remember that little nothing of a problem, that little minuscule easily-solved non-issue paperwork thing the banks were waving off with a "Pshaw!"? Well, guess what? That little nothing of a problem might be a bit more problematic than they thought. As in: "I ignored the burning discharge because I thought it would clear up on its own. Now my penis looks like a burned-up ballpark hotdog." If you're Holland, Belgium, Poland, Russia, or France, this story probably raises a few goosebumps on your arms. What would you do if your income disappeared? As long as hobos roam the land and the market for hobo-jerky remains robust, my income will never disappear. Visit us for our overpriced coffee; stay for the boner-inducing ladies in skimpy outfits. Somehow I don't think this was what Tom Friedman had in mind when he started calling for new erections in America's cities. Here's a handy tip: if you're nearing retirement, don't piss your money away. It's not differential calculus, folks. If you don't save enough when you're young to carry you when you're old, and if you spend what little you do have (and more besides) on shit you don't need, then don't come crying to me about how your retirement is "endangered". You got your own ass into the crack; you can get your own ass out. (Oh, and if you're supporting your 25+ year old sons or daughters? Kick their goldbricking asses out of the house and tell them the tit has run dry.) Here's a feculent little nugget for you: Although young Americans grew up in a world of easy credit, older bankruptcy filers have 50% more credit card debt, according to Pottow's study. The median credit card debt of older bankruptcy filers in 2007 was $22,562, compared with $13,615 for younger filers, the study said.I feel bad for old folks who get into a financial hole because of unexpected medical problems, but I don't consider getting cancer after 40 years of smoking, or diabetes after a lifetime of eating Ring Dings and drinking soda-pop by the liter, or hypertension after eating too much salt and fat, to be "unexpected". If you're going to expect me to help cover the cost of your health-care in your geezerhood, then you're going to have to allow me to insist that you eat better and get more exercise when you're younger. It's only fair. Tyrannical, you say? Fair enough. Eat, drink, and be merry, then -- and pay for the consequences yourself. (SCENE: A rustic cabin in the Sierra mountains. Autumn. A BEAR can be heard roaming about outside.) [Chet]: We've been holed up in this cabin for days! Is the bear still out there? [Chuck]: (Looks out the window.) Yeah. [Chet]: So what are we going to do? Chuck: Is the door locked? He can't get in, right? [Chet]: Well...the lock is broken. But I don't think the bear knows that. We've got to chase him off before he realizes he can break down the door. How can we chase him off? [Chuck]: Uh...we could throw bundles of money at it. [Chet]: We already tried that! Like a hundred times! We don't have any money left! [Chuck]: Oh. We could engage the bear in a multispecies roundtable and establish a consensus of understanding where we respect his bear-ness and he respects our human-ness, and we all agree not to eat or maul each other. [Chet]: ...that is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. Why don't you just go out and let the bear eat you? While he's busy gnawing on your patchouli-flavored hippie carcass, I can make my getaway. [Chuck]: Well, what do you suggest, Mister I'm-So-Smart? [Chet]: (Thinking) Maybe if we ignore him, he'll go away. He can't hang around forever, right? Right? (CHET and CHUCK stare out the window for a long moment as the BEAR comes closer, roaring mightily.) [Chuck]: So...we're screwed. That's basically what you're saying. [Chet]: Yeah. We're boned. We'll be bear-shit in some leafy glade before the end of the day. (The curtain falls as the roaring of the BEAR overwhelms everything.) ***FIN*** --------------------------------------- This one goes out to all the finance-industry bullshit artists, dumbass lying politicians, perfidous bankers, and mentally-arthritic liberals. Oh, and Beaver's Mom. | Recent Comments
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Daily Tech News 2 December 2023
Friday ONT: I Stick It! Dogs Gone Wild Cafe Five Years After the Nasty Race Crime Hoax That Further Divided the Country, Jussie Smollett Is Finally Going to Jail Confessions of the Libs of TikTok Is This Something? Health NEWZZZZ Quick Hits Washington Post "Workers" Brace for Layoffs 89 Republicans Join Democrats to Expel George Santos from Congress; Republicans Also Refuse to Hold Vote to Expel Fire-Alarm-Puller and Insurrectionist Jamaal Bowman Search
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Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer Top Top Tens
Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) |