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August 23, 2010

Break Their Backs, Take Their Lunch Money

See, here's the deal -- we're going to freak out the White House, we're going to vapor-lock the Senate, and we're going to take back the House. Democrats know this and are preparing for the worst. Now think of 2008 -- we kinda hoped McCain was going to pull it off, but we couldn't muster much beyond pulling the lever. Remember that? And remember how somewhat concerned we were when Obama pulled it off? The pain was so, eh, cause we thought "how much worse can Obama be?" (Holy crap. A lot, as it turns out).

So with liberals whistling in the dark, hoping for more change, they are primed to experience ten times the whiney kind of pain they did when Kerry ate the schnitz in '04. If we deliver a defeat even worse than their worst nightmares. And I'll be honest with you (why would I lie to you? I love you idiots!) -- I want them to hurt much more than they did back then. I want their spirits crushed, their backs broken, their mommies cryin, all the donuts gone before they sneak into the break room to grab their 4th when nobody's lookin, and their dads tossin em outta bed at 6 in the morning, yellin at em to get a fuckin job already.

So the way we do that is we deliver a defeat worse than they ever imagined. We do that by winning states that have no business turning Red -- like Pennsylvania, Washington, Illinois baby, and so on -- states that were easy Dem victories in 2006. We do that by smashing their 60-seat supermajority in the Senate. We do that by defeating their leadership, like Harry Reid in the Senate. We do that by defeating their heroes, like Babs "Ma'am" Boxer. We do that by making sure a record number of Americans reject their catastrophic agenda, leaving it utterly discredited.

The day after the election, I want to see an electoral battlefield littered with crying Democrats, their ranks demoralized, their treasury under investigation, and only one lightworker to take the blame. I want a vacuum so complete, that a bloody leadership battle between the lunatic fringe leftists, blue dogs, and the confused, frightened survivors shakes the Democrat Party to its core, and leaves it too hoodwinked and bamboozled to push any more of their socialist agenda, much less ramp up for an even bleaker (for them) 2012.

Morons, I worry (a little) about complacency. Don't be that. We're not out to win this thing. We're out to smush them. And to win this thing, ok, yes, win and smush. And that's going to require a level of engagement you've actually done before. It'll mean organizing locally, volunteering, and donating. Work on my actual job keeps me from working the phones or walking precincts (and my wife told me she ain't doin it either), but I've surrendered a significant portion of my time, which my family can afford, and some money which I didn't tell them about but the info is publicly available, on behalf of the cause. We've all got something to offer, whether it's time or money, and now's the time to offer what we can (time and money).

One of my favorite co bloggers likes to say, "Fuck them up the ass, sideways, with a pineapple", meaning that when he fucks someone up the ass, sideways, with a pineapple, he will have used a really big, spiney pineapple to make a point (I think it's a metaphor). If he falls short? We kick him in the nuts and make him do it again in 2012. But he won't fall short, you really can't mess up that pineapple thing, it just works.

We won't have regrets on Election Night, thinking that some Democrats squeaked by because we failed to buy enough pineapples. We can't have a Nancy Pelosi clutching a gavel in her leathery granny-fist in the next session of the Congress, knowing that maybe if we had done just a little bit more to help we could have prevented that. Because this shit is happening. Pelosi? She's a dead man. Reid? Dead! Neidermayeeeeeeeeeeer! Even if all they can give is $5 to one candidate, or one afternoon phone banking, it doesn't matter. There's a lot of us, and their little gestures add up to a whole lot of bupkus.

We are approaching a historic night, and one that can radically transform the direction of our country. And heal it for a generation. So like my dad used to tell me when I was off to a job interview, "Boy, don't fuck this up. And get your ass outside and mow the lawn."

(In case you don't recall the original from Kos, see here.)

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posted by Dave In Texas at 02:23 PM

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